Audrey quotes from Haven

Audrey

You've been weird about this Jess thing from the start. You have a beautiful woman waiting up for you, you have a partner who's willing to do the boring paperwork, and you still don't want to go? Nathan, I wasn't gonna say anything before, but it's not like you have people calling you at all hours of the day to hang out. Tell me. Tell me. Come on, what's going on?

Nathan

I don't know if I can make it happen.

Audrey

Make what happen? [Nathan gives her a look] Oh... Wait, this isn't your first time, is it?

Nathan

No!

Audrey

Well what?-

Nathan

It is my first time since I've... been like this. I can't even feel my own damn skin. I can't feel her skin. I don't know what else I can't do.

Nathan

What's that cop's name?

Audrey

. . . Steve?

Nathan

Stan. How about her?

Audrey

Okay, okay, I get it. Good morning Stu.

... Morning, Audrey.

Nathan

Morning, Stan.

Hey, Nathan.

Audrey

Crap.

Jess

Actually we have dinner.

Audrey

Awesome. Nathan, would you please marry this woman! Sorry. Did i just make that awkward?

Jess

Oh, we have to get to second base first. Sorry, I made that even more awkward.

Jess

Isn't he cute when he wants to take charge.

Audrey

He is cute. You should see him around babies.

Vince

It's too dark for it to come over here right?

Audrey

Yeah. That's what I'm thinking.

Dave

I still don't know how you can know that.

Audrey

It's in my supernatural shadow guide. It says, hold on. Yep we're screwed.

Audrey

Ask me anything. The first boy that I kissed was when I was 18. My favorite singer is Ray Charles.

Ray Charles?

Audrey

Okay, Fine, I lied it's Justin Timberlake. And my middle name is Prudence. Self-inflicted at my confirmation.

Audrey

Just how "me" was he?

Nathan

Pretty you. I mean, pretty mu- [chuckes] Pretty much exactly you.

Audrey

Yeah? And when did you realize he wasn't me?

Nathan

I just... I knew.

Audrey

[laughs] Yeah, you think you know me that well?

Nathan

No. Not that well. What's your middle name?

Audrey

My middle name? Really? It's Prudence. Self-inflicted at my confirmation. And yours?

Nathan

Thaddeus.

Audrey

Thaddeus?! Thaddeus.

Nathan

Inflicted by the chief.

Duke

Are you crying?

Audrey

No.

Duke

Cause' crying will not be tolerated.

Audrey

Shut up. I am so armed.

Duke

For the record, this place gives me the heebie jeebies.

Audrey

Huh. I had you pegged as one of the cool kids.

Audrey

For the record, no one was cool in high school. Not even me.

Audrey

Do you want to get some coffee?

Nathan

You could use some.

Audrey

Okay.

Nathan

Just black for me, thanks. I think I'm done with the fancy stuff.

Audrey

Great, high five for the real thing. [they high five and Nathan can obviously feel it]

Nathan

Parker, you don't need to be on the clock 24-7. Go.

Duke

Wow. Nathan Wuornos being magnanimous is a rare and beautiful...

Nathan

Please, take him and go.

Audrey

All right, great, thank you.

Duke

I was giving you a compliment. I'm just saying, that was legitimate, from the heart.

Miss Parker, do you have a favorite nut?

Audrey

Excuse me?

Duke

I think he means, other than Nathan...

Audrey

Do we really have a skeleton inside a wrecked boat? Is there going to be an eye patch or a dead parrot?

Nathan

That's life on a seaside police force. What? Do you miss the FBI already?

Audrey

No, I just hope we get a treasure chest.

Nathan

I'm glad you're staying.

Nathan

I hear you're afraid of Max Hansen.

Duke

Ah, screw it. Normally I'd try to act all manly, but, yeah, I'm terrified. Why do you ask?

Nathan

Make it a lot easier on you if he was dead, wouldn't it?

Duke

Are you offering?

Audrey

Where were you earlier, Duke?

Duke

Oh, did somebody take care of my little problem?

Audrey

Just answer the question.

Duke

They did? They- Thank you! Thank you! That is outstanding. All right, hmm? Oh, no, don't worry about it. I'm not offended that you asked. It's fine. So... How did he die?

Audrey

He was swallowed by a crack in the ground.

Duke

He was swallowed by a crack in the ground, yes! Yes. Nathan, come on. I mean, if I could do that, why am I out here playing Jed Clampett with a shotgun in my lap?

Audrey

You're the one person that I can absolutely trust, and if you're gonna wear this, then we need to be honest with each other. [takes his hands with the badge] What's wrong? [Nathan looks at her] You felt that.

Nathan

Yeah. I can feel you.

Audrey

How long have you known?

Nathan

[smiles] A while. I... I wasn't sure what to think about it for a long time.