NNarrator
The sheriff rides on rapid reflexes and keen eyesight. Therefore, if you're having trouble reading this, you probably need glasses!
MGMopalong Goofy
Gawrsh! Now where'd I put that card? [digs for it] Found it! [laughs]
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Stealing's wrong! It's against the law... and it's just plain bad manners! And if I caught anyone I know stealing, I'd scale and sand 'em myself. Understood?
[Max and PJ look at each other and gulp.]
Thanks, Dad!
MMax
Thanks, Mr. P!
[The boys quickly exit as Pete wrestles with his new power tool.]
Aw, great! Leech is gonna kill us, the police are gonna arrest us, and my dad's gonna sand us!
MMax
Look, we'll hide the bottle here for tonight. In the morning we'll think of something!
Like changing our names and putting ourselves up for adoption?!
MMax
PJ, red alert! Scramble!
Yo, Max! What is it?
MMax
Peej, your dad's gonna pop Bubbles!
[gasps] Be right down!
MPMax and PJ
[wink cleverly at each other] Why, look! [point to Pistol's bed] There she is!
[Pistol looks at the bed confusedly, then rubs her eyes]
PJ, is this a con or what?
Pistol, she's sitting right on your bed!
[Pistol tries looking harder, then she turns around and looks between her legs with her book landing on the floor, and when she gets back up, she picks the book up again]
Nope. Don't see Inky.
Well, we do. [using the book to describe what Inky looks like] Oh, yeah. Uh, let's see. About eight-foot-three, [shows the picture] funny hat, little flower in her lapel thing sort of.
[looks at the book and looks surprised then delighted as she imagines she's seeing Inky] Yeah!
SGSherlock Goof
I'm looking for the house of Dr. Watson, detective story writer.
NBNewspaper Boy
It's right there. 221B Baker Street. Don't you ever watch TV?
PIProf. Inferiority
If I had time, I'd throw this lobster trap into the water with you in it, Goof brain! [laughs]
[Sherlock Goof gulps]
PIProf. Inferiority
Let's amscray, fellers!
SGSherlock Goof
Gawrsh!
What about all those trophies on the "Wall of Petes", Dad?
[sobbing] The Wall of Petes is a big pile of... horse feathers!
Today's your dentist appointment.
MMax
But, Dad! Why do I have to go to the dentist? Grandpa never went to the dentist!
Grandpa doesn't have any teeth, Maxie.
MMax
But my teeth are fine! [shows Goofy his teeth] Look, Pop, no cavities!
That may be true, son. But you still need to have an annual checkup every 6 months.
MMax
[groans] So I'm trapped!
I bet you're missing the point. Come on, I'm going to show you something.
MMax
No! You're not going to pull out the...
Yep, the family photo album! [laughs]
[after showing Max the family photo album]
So you see, Maxie, Pete could've avoid all of that mess by going to the dentist in the first place.
MMax
I get the message, Dad! I'm getting my teeth checked out right now!
[last lines of the series]
Hold it, Maxie! Maybe the dentist can squeeze me in too. I think I had too many soda. Owie.
MMax
I just don't get it. Every time I go outside and say what a beautiful day it is something bad happens to me. Wait a minute. If I say the opposite maybe nothing bad will happen. Yeah. I'll go give it a try. What a terrible horrible no-good really bad day.
Wait a minute. He wouldn't! do that. Would he? Did he say that?
He could... he would... You're right, he did.
MMax
Bing.
What now, Mom?
Now, now, now... Going outside is very Unlucky for Max, so you don't have to worry, but I'm afraid the cure will have to be... drastic.
I think you got a point.
MMax
[stammers]
No, no, no. Don't look now, Max, your eyes can't take the daylights! Good. There it is, Mom. The tap dancing shoes all ready to tap dance.
Hmmmm! Hmmmm! Mmm-hmmm! A clear case of terminal lazy-Ola, systemic shirk-itis, and a galloping boondoggle-emia. Well done, PJ! Not a second to lose!
The tapping will cue in 4, 3, 2, 1 and 0. Oh, nice knowing you, Max.
MMax
Aah! Aaaaaaaah! Oh, god, please be mud.
It worked. What about all those trophies on the "Wall of Petes", Dad?
[sobbing] The Wall of Petes is a big pile of... horse feathers!
MMax
Oh. [sniffles] Now I know how Mr. Scrappy feels.
What's wrong, Maxie?
MMax
Oh, Dad, All I wanted was to have a good day. But do I get one? No. My life has been invaded Earl's reckon numbers, bird trap, a fire breathing dragon and I just got ran over by a stampede of Buffaloes. How could this get any worse? Getting Trampled by Crowd?
Guess not. Bye.
I did it. I tricked my Dad. It was just a conversation.
Dad, I know you treated me badly and I'm very sorry I tricked you. I promised I will never trick you again.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Goof Troop pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.