Hannah Horvath quotes from Girls

Hannah

This is how much money I make a week? This is a lot more than my rent. This is insane, I'm just gonna like walk into a store in the Meatpacking district and make it rain!

Hannah

Oh, I gained fifteen pounds.

Hannah

Am I seriously the only one of us who prides herself on being a truly authentic person?

Hannah

It's made me want to find a hole in the world, in the shape of me and just fill it up.

Hannah

When I was in fifth grade, I had this English teacher, Mr. Lasky. He liked me. He was impressed with me. I did, like, special creative writing. I wrote, like, a little novel or whatever. Sometimes when he was talking to the class, he'd stand behind me and he'd just, like, rub my neck. Sometimes he'd, like, rub my head, rustle my hair. And I didn't mind. It made me feel special. It made me feel like someone saw me and they knew that I was gonna grow up and be really, really particular. It also made kids hate me and put lasagna in my fucking backpack, but that's a different story. Anyway, last year, I'm at this, like, whatever, warehouse party in Bushwick, and this dude comes up to me and he's like, "Horvath, "we went to middle school together, East Lansing." And I'm like, "Oh, my God, remember how crazy Mr. Lasky's class was? "He was basically trying to molest me." And you know what this kid said? He looks at me in the middle of this buckskin party like he's a judge and he goes, "That's a very serious accusation, Hannah." And he walked away. And there I am, and I'm just 11 again, and I'm just getting my buckskin neck rubbed. Because that stuff never goes away.

Hannah

Didn't you say that texting was the lowest form of communication on the pillar of chat?

The totem of chat. No, the lowest, that would be Facebook, following by gchat, then texting, then email, then phone. Face to face is of course ideal, but it's not of this time.

Hannah

I have a very bad fear of AIDS.

Have you known someone with AIDS?

Hannah

It's more of a Forrest Gump based fear. That's what Robin Wright Penn's character died of.

Marnie

I was just thinking, I've been sexually irresponsible enough in my life thus far that I should have gotten pregnant by now and I never have. Like, I get my period at the same time, on the same day, of every monthly cycle, my entire life, like it's never strayed from that.

Hannah

Then you're really lucky. I never know when I'm going to get my period and it's always a surprise and that's why all my underwear are covered in weird stains.

Hannah

I'm just worried that if we see each other we're going to end up having sex.

Shoshanna

Well, like, that's OK because you both already have HPV.

Hannah

God, that's a really good point.

Elijah

I'm my authentic self. I am being my authentic self.

Hannah

If you had been this gay in college, I would have known because I have two eyeballs, two ears..."

Elijah

You might want to take some steps back through your other boyfriends, and not for nothing, maybe take a look at your dad.

Hannah

You didn't just...?

Elijah

I did.

Hannah

In what way does my father read gay to you?

Elijah

Ah, well, he has a stud in his ear.

Hannah

He got it on a trip he took with his male friends... I heard what that sounded like, I know what that sounded like. You know what I'm going to do from now on, ask people if they're gay before I have sex with them.

Elijah

Good luck with that.

Hannah

Okay I don't wanna split hairs here, but it's not a journal, it's a notebook. It's notes for a book.

Ray

I don't like it when you assfucked my best friend in the heart.

Hannah

You're here.

Adam

Well, I was always here.

Adam

I don’t hate your friends. I’m just not interested in anything they have to say.

Hannah

I’m not interested in anything they have to say! That’s not the point of friendship.

Marnie

Since when is Jessa even a drug addict?

Hannah

She’s really just a life addict.

Marnie

Where's Jessa? Did she not even show?

Hannah

No, she just insists on sitting in the back of the bus for political reasons.