Shoshanna Shapiro quotes from Girls

Shoshanna

I'm like the least virginy virgin ever.

Shoshanna

I could massage your groin in a non-sexual way.

Shoshanna

Everyone's a dumb whore.

Shoshanna

I may be deflowered, but I am not devalued.

Shoshanna

What's better than bathing a pig?

Shoshanna

What's a butt plug?

Shoshanna

Okay, seriously, I cannot believe I have a friend who signed a book deal. It's so adult and intriguing.

Shoshanna

I'm socializing. I'm sorry if that's not working for you, my social butterflyness.

Shoshanna

I can't be surrounded by your negativity while I'm trying to grow into a fully formed woman. You hate everything!

Shoshanna

Basically it’s been a very sexually adventurous time for me. I’m alternating nights of freedom with nights of academic focus. So at the end of my senior year, I will have had both experiences while also still being super well prepared for the professional world.

Shoshanna

Adam, you’re like so dementedly helpful.

Shoshanna

My friend Rachel is fully addicted to blueberry Red Bull and she always tells me she hasn’t had one and she tells like with a blue tongue.

Shoshanna

It's really amazing that all three of you have accomplished so little in the four years since college.

Shoshanna

I feel like my bandana collection is like my most developed collection.

Shoshanna

My recent hijinks have really taken a toll on my GPA!