What do you get when you cross a lasagna-loving cat with a bunch of zany farm animals?
Sheldon: You get picked up for another season. [from Show Stoppers]
"Man, I wish I had a line in this episode." ~Bo [from Cock-a-Doodle Dandy]
RRoy
Orson! The chickens is missing!
Orson: Shouldn't that be the chickens are missing? You see, chickens is plural, so of course you need a plural verb--
Roy: Oh, great! The weasel has the chickens, and you're teaching grammar! [from The Bunny Rabbits Is Coming!]
"What do you mean this is the only show you could get me on? Isn't Hanna-Barbera casting? What about cable? I heard they're doing a funny version of Ren and Stimpy." ~Roy, talking on phone to Bernie [from The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster]
(reading Rumpelstiltskin) After the king let the son out, the little man offered the son a deal.
Rumpelstiltskin (Roy): You can keep your VCR if you can guess my name.
Miller's son (Wade): Guess your name? Ha! That oughta be a cinch! Is it Fred?
Rumpelstiltskin: No.
Miller's son: Sam?
Rumpelstiltskin: No.
Miller's son: Elliot?
Rumpelstiltskin: Nope!
Miller's son: Jason?
Rumpelstiltskin: No way.
Orson: The son just kept on guessing far into the night...
Miller's son: Irving? Floyd? Ichabod? Michael? Sidney? John? Paul? George? Ringo? Larry? Moe? Curly? Shemp? Howie? Frank?
Rumpelstiltskin: Nope.
Orson: ...but without success.
Miller's son: Arbuthnot? Trallfaz? Sting? Prince? Engelburt?
Rumpelstiltskin: Sorry, you only get one more guess.
Pizzaman (Bo): Hey, like, hi there, Rumpelstiltskin. Qué pasa?
Miller's son: I know it! I know your name! Your name is...
Roy: (grabs the book from Orson) But before the duck-son could say the name, a hurricane came up!
Orson: A hurricane!?
Roy: Yes, a hurricane. And it blew the duck away, so he couldn't take his VCR back.
Wade: Uno momento!
Orson: Guys!
Wade: Then a spaceship came by! And it rescued the handsome duck and flew him back to reclaim his VCR.
Orson: Guys, stop this!
Roy: But the rooster was determined to get it back with the aid of his trained dinosaurs!
Orson: Trained dinosaurs? Where did the trained dinosaurs come from?
Roy: Same place all those ninjas came from.
Wade: But then the Third Marine Division landed with their Anti-Trained Dinosaur Squadron.
Roy: But the Mole People were too smart for the Marines!
Orson: Guys! [from The Name Game]
(looks at the "U.S. Acres Quickie" logo) Orson, what's a quickie?
Orson: It's a short joke.
Booker: (entering) I don't like jokes about being short!
Orson: Well, it's not a joke about being short, Booker; it's a joke that is short.
Roy: (entering with Bo) But couldn't you do a short joke about someone being short?
Bo: You could even do a long joke about someone being short.
Roy: Then that'd be a long short joke!
Orson: Enough already! A quickie is a joke that's only 45 seconds, and it's--
Sheldon: (entering) Time's up!
Wade: (as the camera fades out) Shucks! I never found out what a quickie was.
RRoy
(considering moving onto the Buddy Bears' show) You [the Buddy Bears] won't hit me with pies?
Bobby Buddy Bear: Oh no!
Billy Buddy Bear: We never hit anyone with pies!
Bertie Buddy Bear: That's not educational and uplifting!
All Buddy Bears: We never do anything that's not educational and uplifting! [from Big Bad Buddy Bird]
MMaurice
I take people into fantasy sequences and show them what the world would be like if they had never lived.
Wade: Oh yeah. Like that movie they show seven million times every Christmas. [from It's A Wonderful Wade]
RRoy
Orson, tell me the name of the new worker in the tool shed.
Orson: What.
Roy: Tell me the name of the new worker in the tool shed.
Orson: What.
Roy: Who is the guy in the tool shed?!
Orson: No, Who is fixing the roof.
Roy: [grabbing the clipboard] I don't care about the roof! Where is the name of the guy in the shed?
Orson: No, Where is the name of the guy plowing the field.
Roy: Who's plowing the field?
Orson: No, Who's fixing the roof.
Wade: Orson, what is the name of the guy fixing the roof?
Orson: No, What is the name of the guy cleaning the tool shed.
Wade: Who's cleaning the tool shed?!
Orson: No, Who's fixing the roof.
Roy: Who is the guy plowing the field?!
Orson: No, Who is fixing the roof. Where is the guy plowing the field.
Roy: How should I know?! What is his name?!
Orson: No, What is the name of the brother cleaning the shed.
Wade: Whose brother?
Orson: Of course.
Roy: Orson, who is fixing the roof, what is the name of the guy cleaning the shed, and where is the other brother?!
Orson: You finally got it. [from Who Done It?]
Wade Duck, you are charged with tearing the tag off a pillow. How do you plead?
Wade: I did it! I did it! I'm glad I did it! [Laughs maniacally] And I'd do it again.
Judge: I sentence you to 9,999 years in prison!
Wade: [Sighs] At least I didn't get life.[from Wanted: Wade!]
"Warning! Do not remove this tag under penalty of law. Penal code 7756". [The tag Wade pulled off Orson's couch, from Wanted: Wade!]
AAloysius
Just what do you think you're doing here, may I ask?
Orson: Oh, we're doing our version of the book Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak.
Aloysius: This is a cartoon show, not Masterpiece Theatre. Strike the set! [From Kiddie Korner]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Garfield and Friends pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.