[After Simon attempts to re-hang a portrait of his mother up]
So just leave Lady Mom on the floor as a painful remainder of everyone I clutch to my bosom in friendship, only to feel the icy pang of betrayal as they sink their serpent's teeth into my... y'know... my bosom!
[Phillip enters, wearing a tuxedo and carrying a basket of pickles]
[Cheerfully] Well, my ears are burnin'.
[Icy pause]
[Stand-offish] Eager to know why you're here.
...
That, and I think I might have left my Zune here. Have ya seen it?
No, nothing here but a profound sense of betrayal.
... little Zune, it's got Mp3s on it...
Ah, it's no biggie, I'll just buy a new one. I'm a billionaire now, you know.
Yes, I can tell by the tuxedo.
Yep, that's what we wear. Y'know.
And to what shall we drink? Simon will you be a lamb?
Uh, that this isn't just a big glass of poison?
It's just, I'd hate to beat cancer just to-
Yeah, just to drink poison. Yep, cancer free!
Also, twenty billionaire!
What?! You got full price for the Annihilatrix?!
[Phil takes a sip of his drink]
Yes, drink it in... and die !
[Horrified] Ah! The... Tom Collins!
Ha, you mean a vitoxin Collins!
Yes! The anal blood gushing should start any moment! Should just... [It becomes clear nothing is happening] come... y'know, bursting... right out of your bottom.
Ha ha, no, I knew you were gonna try that!
I've been taking vitoxin for weeks!
[Outraged] Why, you formerly fat bastard!
Yeah thats how i kinda lost the weight...
Well, I'd better deposit this check. Thanks for the drink, enjoy the pickles, and if you find my Zune, just give me a c-
[Phil's head is blasted off]
Bugger me. (calls out) Hey Simon! Want to see something neat? Phil's head just exploded, like a ham!
[ontop a roof with a sniper rifle]
Why 's it always got to be my ass? There's a... there's a person in this ass.
[On learning that Stan has bought the Annihilatrix with his entire fortune]
You mean I'm not a billionaire anymore? How does this impact Train Island?!
[Answers cell phone] Hello?
[sighs over phone] What's up, Douchington?
No, no Douchington here- Hey, is that Xander Crews?
[About Xander Crews] Absolute monarch of all bumsnackers.
[To his son Simon] I hate to say it, but frankly, you're becoming something of a liability. You'll never get that hermit crab at this rate.
It's right here! You got my key?
[Petulant] You don't have to be crappy.
[Arranging to swap the $20 billion check for the Annihilatrix key]
We threw 'em! We throw 'em on three!
No, I-I think it's windy for...
[Yelling quickly] One two three!
[Startled, Killface throws the check; it is caught by the wind before Xander (who didn't throw the key) can catch it]
[Beat] ... what the fuck , dude?!
Why?!... did I say that?!
'Cause you're an idiot! And a liar! You didn't even throw yours!
[Pause]
I was gonna keep them both!
You - Well, serves you right then!
[After Xander threatens to power up the Annihilatrix]
Does this thing just start like a freaking car? Retarded.
[Xander turns the key; the ignition sequence commences]
Oh my God, you've armed it!
Ahhh! Why did I also do that?
My parents never established boundaries!
It's alright, there's a failsafe.
I don't know or care what that is!
[Mocking Killface] Oh please don't kill me. Please don't make it so appealing. I'm a douche. [shoots and misses, killing Phil instead] Damn it!
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