Frisky Dingo quotes

So just leave Lady Mom on the floor as a painful remainder of everyone I clutch to my bosom in friendship, only to feel the icy pang of betrayal as they sink their serpent's teeth into my... y'know... my bosom!

Phillip

[Cheerfully] Well, my ears are burnin'.

Wha... Phillip?!

Phillip

Ta-daaa!

[Stand-offish] Eager to know why you're here.

Have you come to gloat?

Phillip

That, and I think I might have left my Zune here. Have ya seen it?

I don't know.

Phillip

No? It's a...

No, nothing here but a profound sense of betrayal.

Phillip

... little Zune, it's got Mp3s on it...

Oh, and back knives.

Phillip

Ah, it's no biggie, I'll just buy a new one. I'm a billionaire now, you know.

Yes, I can tell by the tuxedo.

Phillip

Yep, that's what we wear. Y'know.

ZZ Top would be proud.

Phillip

Chompa chompa.

And to what shall we drink? Simon will you be a lamb?

Uh, that this isn't just a big glass of poison?

Phillip! That hurts me!

It's just, I'd hate to beat cancer just to-

Oh, you beat cancer!

Yeah, just to drink poison. Yep, cancer free!

Good for you.

Also, twenty billionaire!

What?! You got full price for the Annihilatrix?!

Chompa chompa.

Yes, drink it in... and die!

[Horrified] Ah! The... Tom Collins!

Ha, you mean a vitoxin Collins!

Vitoxin?!

Yes! The anal blood gushing should start any moment! Should just... [It becomes clear nothing is happening] come... y'know, bursting... right out of your bottom.

Ha ha, no, I knew you were gonna try that!

No? Nothing?

I've been taking vitoxin for weeks!

[Outraged] Why, you formerly fat bastard!

Yeah thats how i kinda lost the weight...

Well, I'd better deposit this check. Thanks for the drink, enjoy the pickles, and if you find my Zune, just give me a c-

Bugger me. (calls out) Hey Simon! Want to see something neat? Phil's head just exploded, like a ham!

Why 's it always got to be my ass? There's a... there's a person in this ass.

Xander

You mean I'm not a billionaire anymore? How does this impact Train Island?!

[Answers cell phone] Hello?

Xander Crews

[sighs over phone] What's up, Douchington?

No, no Douchington here- Hey, is that Xander Crews?

[About Xander Crews] Absolute monarch of all bumsnackers.

[To his son Simon] I hate to say it, but frankly, you're becoming something of a liability. You'll never get that hermit crab at this rate.

Xander Crews

You got my money?

It's right here! You got my key?

Xander Crews

Duh!

[Petulant] You don't have to be crappy.

Xander Crews

We threw 'em! We throw 'em on three!

No, I-I think it's windy for...

Xander Crews

[Yelling quickly] One two three!

Xander Crews

[Beat]... what the fuck, dude?!

You said throw it!

Xander Crews

Why?!... did I say that?!

'Cause you're an idiot! And a liar! You didn't even throw yours!

Xander Crews

I was gonna keep them both!

You - Well, serves you right then!

Xanderby, wait!

Xander Crews

Does this thing just start like a freaking car? Retarded.

Oh my God, you've armed it!

Xander Crews

Ahhh! Why did I also do that?

What is wrong with you?!

Xander Crews

My parents never established boundaries!

It's alright, there's a failsafe.

Xander

I don't know or care what that is!

Hahahaha... Boosh!

[Mocking Killface] Oh please don't kill me. Please don't make it so appealing. I'm a douche. [shoots and misses, killing Phil instead] Damn it!