“Yoko” quotes from Flight of the Conchords

Murray

Alright, Item 3. Now if one of the band members was to have a girlfriend, would you find that... A: Very Positive; B: Positive...

Mel

Why do... why do you ask?

Murray

No reason.

Mel

Has Bret got a girlfriend?

Murray

Yes. He's seeing a girl from work. Coco.

Mel

[snaps the tip of her pencil, twitches nervously, then recovers] Oh... heh. Wow. Well that's great that Bret has a girlfriend. That's really great.

Murray

You don't think that Bret's any less available now that he's...

Mel

Oh no... heh. Is she pretty?

Murray

You're still interested in the band then? Even though...

Mel

Yes, it's nice for Bret to have a girlfriend.

Murray

Good.

Mel

Yes.

Murray

Alright. You're sure?

Mel

Yes! [chuckles] Is she stupid?

Murray

You've still got Jemaine anyway. And he's always available, isn't he? He's not gonna... not gonna get a girlfriend any time soon, so...

Mel

Just ummm...

Murray

Try your chances with him, can't you?

Mel

Mmmhmm. Does... does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? A bit?

Murray

A little bit. 'Round the eyes.

Mel

Oh yeah? Big eyes, huh?

Murray

Well she's... she's got eyes.

Jemaine

[after following Bret and Coco onto a bus] Bret.

Bret

[surprised] Hey man, what are you doing here?

Jemaine

Murray and I missed you and we want you to rejoin the band again.

Bret

Really?

Jemaine

Yeah, on one condition, that you... [makes hand to throat gesture and points at Coco]

Bret

I'm not gonna kill her, man.

Jemaine

No just leave - just leave her, not...

Bret

Oh, no, I'm not gonna leave her, I told you that. You know, I like the band but, no, I'm not leaving Coco.

I wouldn't mind, I mean if that's what you really want.

Bret

Shush baby.

I-I don't really see us as a long-term...

Bret

Shush.

Jemaine

So what's it gonna be Bret, the girl or the band?

Bret

Well, it’s gonna be Coco.

Jemaine

Oh, are you sure?

Bret

Yeah.

Jemaine

Oh, I thought you - I was sure you were gonna say the band.

Bret

[Shakes head] No I'm staying with Coco.

Jemaine

[sighs] I guess you can still be in the band.

Bret

Okay, yeah all right.

Jemaine

Okay.

Bret

Cool.

Jemaine

Okay, well I'll see you later. [gets up to leave]

Bret

I'll see you at band practice.

Jemaine

[sits down again] Actually I'm gonna wait until the bus stops and then I'll get off.

Jemaine

[fake coughing] Yoko!

Bret

What'd you say?

Jemaine

Oh, nothing, just had a bit of a cough.

Bret

Oh. Okay.

Jemaine

No, it wasn't a real cough. I said Yoko.

Bret

Why'd you say that? She's nothing like Yoko.

Jemaine

Ono, she isn't

Murray

Jemaine, you're putting "oh no" together to sound like "Ono."

Jemaine

Ono, I didn't.

Murray

You did it again!

Jemaine

Ono, did I?