Fillmore! · Season 1
Is that - for me?
Got your name on it.
Beautiful... You just keep your elbows in, and your eyes focused on the target.
(Vallejo opens box and a springy fish pops out. He pulls out a "Singing Fish")
Row Row Row your boat gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream.
(chimes in) Life is but a Dreeeaaammm!
I ain't goin' out like Charles Laskey, know what I'm sayin'?
Who's Charles Laskey?
That's what I'm sayin', know what I'm sayin'?
I can't help you there. I don't believe in indoor plumbing, and I have never set foot in a school bathroom. I always go out-
Uh. Don't even wanna know.
Yes! I draw toilets. Beautiful toilets. The perfect marriage of form and function, of style and substance, of water and porcelain.
Principal Folsom isn't sure whether to give you guys a commendation or to give you detention. On the one hand, you put Stainless away. But on the other hand, you destroyed an entire shipment of brushed steel stalls, you ruined a month's supply of macaroni, and you allowed the most notorious graffiti vandal in the history of the school to escape.
Are you reading those?
Photographic memory.
The S.A.T.T.Y. 9. Has there been anything more pointless?
Ban Lobstee the Lobster! Make X Middle School get a new mascot! Stop crustacean exploitation!
(Beat) You tell me.
(in the phone)Fillmore. Huh, not now, the duck is in ear shot. Peace.
Fillmore, you know me pretty well.
I'd say very well.
Uhuh,so how can you think you could pull over on me. Listen, I know all you guys are shipping in getting me a scooter for my birthday.
Your birthday is coming up?
You guys can't get me a scooter.
Oh, yeah. We can.
Fillmore, everybody is gonna think that I'm trying to be in the scoot bandwagon.
Ingrid, you have an Abe Lincoln lunch box, since when do you care what everybody thinks?
Hey, Abe Lincoln is coo- oh, good point.
That one's got attitude.
That one is also the best.
The last thing I want to see is 12 hundred kids having to take it over.
(Door to the pool opens)
We'll have to take it over?! The SATTY-9, or the Sensless Aptitude Tryout Tested Yearly, was the hardest test I've ever taken! It took three hours! I saw spots! (with French accent) I developed this spontaneous French accent! (normal voice) I can't take it again! I can't! (Fillmore splashes water in his face)
Check yourself, Willie. You don't want to take this test again, and we don't want to either, so it's not going to happen. We're on it.
Um, Elliot? The reason to wear boxers is to avoid mooning strangers. Maybe you should get some new ones. Or maybe a big patch.
(Elliot realizes his boxers are torn, covers himself, and runs off)
People, can we cover Elliot's butt please?
I didn't need that in my photographic memory.
You're as solid as a geodude using it's harden attack.
I love Tartar sauce!
(Cutting off Seth's escape route) Ingrid! We take Seth back to HQ, and then we talk (cut to Safety Patrol HQ) You were gonna let him go.
I thought about it... but I was going to get him
You almost didn't. Ingrid, we're partners. Be straight with me
I know Seth. he's creative. he does these cool little cartoons about a pig named Schmoogoogey. He invented a candy bar wallet that keeps them from melting in your pocket. But you don't see that in a S.A.T.T.Y. 9 score
Cool. *weeping* level 26
For a second, I just thought, maybe the world would be better off without those answer sheets.
That test may be beat, but there's a right way to fight it. Protesting. Giant banners. Editorials. Hard jams with harder rhymes. Going the other way is a sucker move. We have a job. We don't make the rules.
(Indignant) I only forgot that for a second.
(Forlorn) But Ingrid, you forgot that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Fillmore! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
