The S.A.T.T.Y. 9. Has there been anything more pointless?
PProtestor
Ban Lobstee the Lobster! Make X Middle School get a new mascot! Stop crustacean exploitation!
(Beat) You tell me.
“Test of the Tested” · Season 1, Episode 2
In this episode: Ingrid (7), Fillmore (5), Vallejo (2), Principal Folsom (2)
(in the phone)Fillmore. Huh, not now, the duck is in ear shot. Peace.
Fillmore, you know me pretty well.
I'd say very well.
Uhuh,so how can you think you could pull over on me. Listen, I know all you guys are shipping in getting me a scooter for my birthday.
Your birthday is coming up?
You guys can't get me a scooter.
Oh, yeah. We can.
Fillmore, everybody is gonna think that I'm trying to be in the scoot bandwagon.
Ingrid, you have an Abe Lincoln lunch box, since when do you care what everybody thinks?
Hey, Abe Lincoln is coo- oh, good point.
KTKaren Tehama
That one's got attitude.
That one is also the best.
The last thing I want to see is 12 hundred kids having to take it over.
(Door to the pool opens)
WWillie
We'll have to take it over?! The SATTY-9, or the Sensless Aptitude Tryout Tested Yearly, was the hardest test I've ever taken! It took three hours! I saw spots! (with French accent) I developed this spontaneous French accent! (normal voice) I can't take it again! I can't! (Fillmore splashes water in his face)
Check yourself, Willie. You don't want to take this test again, and we don't want to either, so it's not going to happen. We're on it.
Um, Elliot? The reason to wear boxers is to avoid mooning strangers. Maybe you should get some new ones. Or maybe a big patch.
(Elliot realizes his boxers are torn, covers himself, and runs off)
People, can we cover Elliot's butt please?
I didn't need that in my photographic memory.
CCCheerleading Coach
You're as solid as a geodude using it's harden attack.
AAugie
I love Tartar sauce!
(Cutting off Seth's escape route) Ingrid! We take Seth back to HQ, and then we talk (cut to Safety Patrol HQ) You were gonna let him go.
I thought about it... but I was going to get him
You almost didn't. Ingrid, we're partners. Be straight with me
I know Seth. he's creative. he does these cool little cartoons about a pig named Schmoogoogey. He invented a candy bar wallet that keeps them from melting in your pocket. But you don't see that in a S.A.T.T.Y. 9 score
SSeth
Cool. *weeping* level 26
For a second, I just thought, maybe the world would be better off without those answer sheets.
That test may be beat, but there's a right way to fight it. Protesting. Giant banners. Editorials. Hard jams with harder rhymes. Going the other way is a sucker move. We have a job. We don't make the rules.
(Indignant) I only forgot that for a second.
(Forlorn) But Ingrid, you forgot that.
(Phone ringing) You hear that? That's how it's been since the answer sheets got stolen. I hear it in my sleep, I add milk to my crisped rice cereal, and it SOUNDS LIKE MY PHONE (bangs fists on table)! Norma, hold my calls. I gave you 48 hours, and we're down to 12. Where are my results, people (bangs fists on table again)?!
Um, Elliott?
EElliott
What?
Here's your candy back. (Spills malt balls)
EElliott
Whoa! (Slips on the candy and falls to the ground)
You should stay away from that stuff. It's real bad for ya.
(While leaving school) Sorry we had to give you your birthday present a day early.
It was a nice non-surprise. Fillmore, about what went down on the bridge...
Hey, it was a bridge you had to cross. Now you're on the other side
I am. But I'd still like to see that stupid test go down.
Don't we all. But Ingrid, what can you do?
Something.
I don't think that's against the rules, at least any of the rules I know. *Laughs* Hey, let's get some egg rolls. You're buying.
*pulls out scooter and puts on gear while looking at Fillmore*
Ingrid, you can't ride that on school grounds.
Oh sure I can. Watch!
You're gonna let me take a turn right?
Only if you catch me... *rides off*
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Fillmore! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.