(Their Lenten vows have been hard to keep, so Ted is on the phone to get help)
(speaking to Dougal) One day! You think we could go one day without giving in to temptation. (Ted speaks into phone) Hello? Hello? (speaks to Dougal again) God almighty, when I think of the sacrifices that Matty Hyslop made...
Who?
Matty Hyslop. He was a notorious drunkard who found God and then decided to punish himself for his sins. Oh he used to do all kinds of things. Like he had this terrible allergic reaction to cats, so instead of avoiding them, he used to carry a kitten in his pocket. He'd sniff it from time to time. His head just inflated like a balloon.
Fair play to him.
I mean Dougal could you not knock the rollerblading on the head for a couple of weeks?
(upset at himself) I know, I know Ted. I used to be happy enough with the old bike, you know. I used to get a great buzz just going down to the shops. But after a while it just wasn't enough! I just kept going for bigger and bigger thrills! But I could handle it Ted, I could quit any time I want.
Well you tried to quit yesterday and you couldn't!
(breaks down) You're right Ted. I admit it! I have a problem!
(Dougal falls to the floor at Ted's feet)
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