TV show quotes
How do you do that, just lie like that?
Did you know the human eye can see more shades of green than any other color?
What?
I said, "Did you know that the human eye can see more shades of green than any other color?" My question for you is, why?
No, no, no, just h-hold on.
When you figure out the answer to my question, then you'll have the answer to yours.
What happened?
Well, they, uh-- they let him go, Malvo. Yeah, he had an alibi, it checked out, but it's him.
How do you know?
'Cause I said the name Lorne Malvo, and he stopped, and he looked at me real funny. And then he said, like, a riddle.
What's that about a riddle?
Like, um, how come the human eye can see more shades of green than any other color?
'Cause of predators. Used to be, we were monkeys, right? And in the woods, in the jungle, everything's green. So, in order to not get eaten by panthers and bears and the like, we had to be able to see them, you know, in the grass and trees and such. Predators.
We're only as good as the promises we keep.
A rich man opens the paper one day. He sees the world is full of misery. He says, "I have money. I can help." So he gives away all of his money. But it's not enough. The people are still suffering. One day, the man sees another article. He decides he was foolish to think just giving money was enough. So he goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I want to donate a kidney." The doctors do the surgery. It's a complete success. After, he knows he should feel good, but he doesn't, for people are still suffering. So he goes back to the doctor. He says, "Doctor, this time I want to give it all." The doctor says, "What does that mean, 'Give it all'?" He says, "This time I want to donate my liver. But not just my liver. I want to donate my heart, but not just my heart. I want to donate my corneas, but not just my corneas. I want to give it all away. Everything I am. All that I have." The doctor says, "A kidney is one thing, but you can't give away your whole body piece by piece. That's suicide." And he sends the man home. But the man cannot live knowing that the people are suffering and he could help. So he gives the one thing he has left: his life.
And does it work? Does it stop the suffering?
You live in the world. What do you think?
So he killed himself for nothing?
Did he?
Well, I mean... what are you saying?
Only a fool thinks he can solve the world's problems.
Yeah, but you gotta try, don't you?
It was the Romans, wasn't it?
What are you saying?
St. Lawrence, your window, Romans burned him alive.
They did.
You know why?
Cause he was Christian.
Maybe. But I think it was because the Romans were raised by wolves. The greatest empire in human history, founded by wolves. You know what wolves do. They hunt. They kill. It's why I never bought into the jungle book. Boy is raised by wolves and becomes friends with a bear and panther. I don't think so. I knew a guy once, had a hundred and ten pound Rottweiler, and one night this girl thought it would be funny to get down on all fours and let the dog hump her. Dog still had its balls. Well the dog gets up there, but he's not in on the joke. This is just a bitch in heat as far as he's concerned. He's not leaving til he gets what he came for. Well the girl, too late, realizes the kind of mistake she's made. She wants to get up. But the dog had other ideas. Had to shoot it behind the ear to get it off of her.
I don't uh... I don't...
Well, I'm saying that the Romans raised by wolves, they see a guy turning water into wine, what do they do? They eat him. 'Cause there are no saints in the animal kingdom. Only breakfast and dinner.
This is a community. People watch each other's backs. Someone gets sick, someone dies, you bring a casserole, help.
Maybe I'm here to help.
No, you have black eyes. You're trouble. I'm going inside, and I'm calling the cops.
Which building? The one with the Jew bus outside?
There it is. Now the truth comes out.
You know, some people think you don't need alarms on second-story windows. Think they can save a few bucks, you know, and still be safe. Another way they save money is they don't hook up the alarm to the phone line. So the bell rings, but the cops don't come. Or they come, but only after the neighbors call. Which, um, if this community's tight, as you say, you know just might be quick enough to save your life. Or your children's lives.
Ticket, please.
I changed my mind. I decided... God. He told me. He has different plans.
God told you not to park here?
No, no, no. I know what I have to do now. I didn't before.
Well, sir, I gotta... It's $2 for the first 30 minutes, so...
Son, you go to church?
Yes, sir.
Then open the goddamn gate. Your Lord demands it.
[reading Malvo's letter] Once upon a time, there was a little boy. He was born in a field and raised in the woods. And he had nothing. In the winter the boy would freeze and in the summer he would boil. He knew the name of every stinging insect. At night he would look at the lights in the houses, and he would want. Why was he outside and they in? Why was he so hungry and they fed? "It should be me," he said. And out of the darkness the wolves came, whispering.
You have gotta stand by me here.
You've been a burden my whole life. I'm done. There's something wrong with you, Lester. There's-- there's something missing. You're not right in the world.
When a dog goes rabid, right, there's no mistaking it for a normal dog. And here we are, we're supposed to be, us people, we're supposed to know better. To be better, you know?
Must be hard to live in this world if you believe that.
You have no idea.
Sam Hess.
[quickly looks up the progress on Hess] Assets deployed, Mr. Wrench and Mr. Numbers - three days, plus lodging, plus mileage.
[Tripoli looks over at Jergen] You want the, um...? Bottom line, they don't think... our guys... they said, doesn't look related to the business. Could be extramarital on the wife's side. So, uh, now they're en route to a second location to apprehend who we, uh, think is responsible.
Dead.
What's that?
Not apprehend. Dead. Don't care extramarital. Don't care not-related. Kill and be killed. Head in a bag. There's the message.
Of course, boss. Yeah.
What did I lose?
A spleen. Look, I'll get you a new one, I swear.
Yeah, you'd better.
...
You want some pop or something?
No, I want a new spleen, that's what I want, so you know, better get cracking, mister.
[gesturing at a map of the United States on Rundle's office wall] So I noticed you got a pin on your map in every state but Georgia. What the hell do you got against Georgia?
My first wife. She was Korean. She used to spit at me when we had sex.
Can I sit? Or did you want to kill me standing?
[Malvo shrugs in response; Rundle sits in a chair opposite him]
Two hombres took a run at me in Duluth.
Mexicans?
That's the wrong part of the sentence to be focusing on. The point is, they said Fargo sent them. So, I have two questions. First: did you tell these boys where to find me? Second: who do I see about this in Fargo?
But you gotta understand: this is a business of relationships. I can't just--
[interrupting] Relationships.
Right. And, well, it's not my position, professionally, to get involved in squabbles. Especially not of a private nature.
How do you know it's private?
If people are unhappy with our services, they call. A guy screws up, arrangements are made. A cash settlement; if that's not enough, break a leg, or an arm. No calls. Not about you. So whatever it is...it's gotta be personal.
Doesn't matter. It's the principle.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Fargo pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
