[Joe is at the Griffins' door]
Hey, buddy. What brings you around at this late hour with your uniform on and your hat held mournfully against your chest?
Peter, Lois, it pains me above the waist to tell you that Meg is dead.
What?!
What are you talking about? Meg's right here.
[wind blows the wig off the barrel the family thought was Meg]
You know, it's weird that didn't happen on the pier all day.
Or when we rented that convertible.
[to Joe] How did this happen?!
She got in a car wreck, and was burned beyond recognition, and I leveled up on Fortnite this weekend, but you probably only care about the first two things.
Oh, dear God, no!
All we found was Meg's driver's license at the scene. It had her Quiznos punch card stuck to the back. Your little angel was one stamp away from a free sub, which only adds to this horrific tragedy. It's actually pretty impressive, because the card was only issued three days ago. Usually one of the guys would swipe a thing like this, use it on the way home, but I snagged it for ya. Thought Meg's family ought to be the ones to enjoy the free sandwich. Again, I'm very sorry.
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