“Blind Alley” quotes from F Is for Family

Frank Murphy

[muttering to himself while driving to work on a rainy early morning] Fucking Saturday. Fucking crack of dawn. Fucking birds aren’t even awake. Goddamn Ed treats me like a slave. Unpaid fucking training. Fuck him. [clocks in] Smiling piece of shit. See how happy he is with my foot up his fucking ass. Fucking...

Morning Frank!

Frank Murphy

Jesus!

Frank, the coffee was ready at 5:30, but you weren’t.

Want me to make him stand out in the rain?

Oh, no. I don’t want to give Frank the achoo-ies. But I will have to give you the finger. [Brushes his right index finger over his left index finger while giving Frank a stern look]

Maureen Murphy

[to a fussy Megan] Shut the fuck up.

Frank Murphy

Maureen!

Maureen Murphy

I wasn’t doing anything!

Frank Murphy

You do not tell a kid to shut the fuck up. That’s a parent’s job. [Sits on sofa next to Maureen, holds Megan] Now, sweetie, I know you’re still adjusting to having a new sibling, okay? But in time you’ll...

Maureen Murphy

Okay, bye, going to the graveyard! [runs out the door]

Frank Murphy

[sighs, to Megan] will you please turn out normal?

Sue, I taught you the fake crying bit. That doesn’t work on me.