[To Andy] If you talk to me in that crappy I'm a doctor voice one more time I'm gonna knee you in the nuts.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
They stop because they can't help themselves. It's not like they wanna see a bunch of body parts spewed all over the road, you know. Intellectually speaking they know that would make them hurl. But they stop anyways, because they can, because it's there.
So according to this rationale, seeing Madison's band will make me wanna hurl, so that's a reason to go? Interesting theory.
I seriously wish I was the one in that hospital bed right now.
Because bleeding ulcers are so fun?
When did you get so smart?
I'm a senior, dad. It's about time.
[when he sees Jake doing Yoga] God, please let this be a hallucination from the drugs.
At least they (boys) have control over their bodies. Stuff doesn't just happen to them without them letting it happen.
Well, um, let me put it this way. In a couple years when a boy gets called up to the chalkboard to do a math problem and he brings his textbook with him, just remember this little conversation, okay?
Ya know, this place is so world-renowned, you'd think they'd be able to afford to decorate.
Easy there, Queer Eye, it's not a design center.
I'm totally going into medicine.
You might have to start by going to college first.
I've wanted to be a ballerina ever since I was a little girl.
Yeah. And you also wanted to be a princess and an astronaut, and, I believe, a carrot at one point.
Wow...
Yeah?
I mean, damn. You can kiss.
Truth is, Ephram, there is a silver lining. You just fail to see it. I think that's part of your problem.
Thank you, Dr. Phil.
No, seriously. You came here on your first day and you met Amy. Because you're all wiggy in love with her, it takes your mind off what probably would've been a pretty nightmare year.
I was not wiggy.
Jealousy is such a pointless emotion, just a complete total waste of energy.
Really. So you never feel jealous of Madison?
That's different. She's an ex.
Isn't fraternizing with a coworker, like, illegal?
[Laughs] I don't know what you just said, man, but it's not like we're frat brothers.
Well it's a new order of the tracks. If I pick Bach, it says I'm ambitious. If I pick Chopin, it says I'm traditional.
Which one says you're OCD?
It's like tragedy's the only thing we have in common. It's practically the reason we're friends.
So, you know, at least we all found each other. We are friends.
But the point is, we got screwed. We're like way older than it says on our driver's licenses.
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