When your parents are gone, you're an orphan. Your spouse dies, you're a widow or widower. But when you lose your baby... there's no word for that.
“Heal Thyself” · Season 15, Episode 7
In this episode: Catherine Banfield (5), Morris (1), Tony Gates (1)
Your son died in this ER and you're working here?
I'm not sure why I've done anything I've done since that day. Why'd I not leave my apartment for almost 2 years? Then I see the news about the tsunami and I fly to a place 10 thousand miles away. Why'd I do that? Why'd I come back? Why did my son have leukemia? I never understood any of it.
Can I hug you? I wanna hug you.
You try that and you'll be the one with a traumatic injury.
I used to think every day that, if God told me I could die and go to heaven and be with Daryl, I would do it. [pause] I wondered if that made me an awful person that I'd give up my life with you, give up everything we could still have in the future. [long pause] I never really got away from the feeling like I need to be with him, dreaming of him. Never got away from the idea, that somehow I'd be able to hold him again. [she pictures him, outside on a beautiful, sunny day, running towards her, into her arms, and they are both smiling, laughing, joyful] I've, I've been so afraid for so long. I don't want to be... afraid... anymore. [she breaks down and cries softly, Russell gently comforting her]
[to Sandra] I've been doing this too long to make promises, but I'll tell you losing control is not going to help her. If that's what you gotta do, do it outside. In here, you be the mom, you be calm, you put energy into helping your girl fight back because that's what she needs.
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