Sherlock Holmes quotes from Elementary

Dr. Joan Watson

You really are on your best behavior. It must have killed you not to just pick the lock.

Sherlock Holmes

Nonsense. I had several more seconds worth of waiting in me.

Dr. Joan Watson

I feel clear about something. Our work, what we do, it's not just a job now, it's who I am. I'm a detective; I'm ready to embrace that. I live in this world--your world--and I probably will for the rest of my life....It means that it's ridiculous for me to think that I can have a normal life. I'm not gonna do that anymore. Just like I'm not gonna pretend that this isn't the best place for us to do our work.

Sherlock Holmes

You're always welcome to come here. You know that.

Dr. Joan Watson

You don't understand. I'm saying that what I need to do is commit myself to this work completely. The best place for me to do that is here. I want to come back to the brownstone.

Sherlock Holmes

You're right. I am... remarkable. That's precisely why I can't help you.

What does you being amazing have to do...

Sherlock Holmes

[interrupts]  No no no, I didn't say I was amazing, I said I was remarkable. The things that I do, the things that you care about, um... you think that I do them 'cause I'm a good person. I do them 'cause it would hurt too much not to.

Because you're a good person.

Sherlock Holmes

No, it hurts, Agatha. [points] All this. Everything I see, everything I hear, touch, smell; the conclusions that I'm able to draw; the things that are revealed to me; the ugliness. My work focuses me. It helps. You say that I'm using my gifts. I say I'm just treating them.

Dr. Joan Watson

That's the sex blanket.

Sherlock Holmes

I have asked you not to call it that.

Dr. Joan Watson

Who is she, and what time is she coming over?

Dr. Joan Watson

We'd like your employee records and data.

With all due respect, this has got a pretty broad reach. I'd like our lawyers to take a look at it first.

Sherlock Holmes

Indeed. They might contest the invasion of privacy as being too ironic.

This is literally all the information we have on our users: where they are, where and when we pick them up, where and when we drop them off. That's it.

Sherlock Holmes

That's it? You're describing your level of omniscience that's traditionally ascribed to God and Father Christmas.

Dr. Joan Watson

You want company?

Sherlock Holmes

No thank you.

Dr. Joan Watson

How about some ice cream? You know, it's stuff that people eat when they're feeling a little down.

Sherlock Holmes

I have everything I need right here.

Dr. Joan Watson

Okay.

Sherlock Holmes

Oh - what kind of ice cream?

Dr. Joan Watson

I'll bring you a couple of choices.

Sherlock Holmes

I owe you a bit of an apology. I attempted to express my concern for you last night, but my thoughts were distorted by the lens of my own needs. It was not optimally done.

Dr. Joan Watson

Oh, that's okay.

Sherlock Holmes

What I was trying to say was that one of the things I've gained from our collaboration is a working definition of the word friendship. Friendship, I've come to believe, is most accurately defined as two people moving towards the best aspects of one another. It is a relationship of mutual benefit, mutual gain. Another thing I've learned is that my isolationist tendencies are decidedly not my best quality. I am not a better person because of a lack of connection. So, I think the healthy thing is for you not to move in my direction. In fact, quite the opposite.

Dr. Joan Watson

That's worth thinking about.

Sherlock Holmes

Our relationship is predicated on one Holmes and one Watson. It's a delicate homeostasis. It doesn't function properly if there are two Holmeses and no Watsons. So while I am sensitive to this is likely a ripple effect from the tragedy, turning yourself into me in response is not good for our partnership.

Sherlock Holmes

Enjoy yourself, Watson.

Dr. Joan Watson

I will try, Holmes.

You said you're with the NYPD. We're big supporters of law enforcement.

Sherlock Holmes

You're partisan hacks who twist facts until they cohere to a pre-existing viewpoint. All whilst hiding behind the seemingly academic label of a think tank. I despise you and people of your ilk on both sides of the aisle.

Sherlock Holmes

For a previously unremarkable drug dealer, Miss Moreno continues to defy expectations. Spree killer is yet another category dominated by men.

Dr. Joan Watson

How does she do it?

Sherlock Holmes

Would you be happier if women were better criminals?

Marcus Bell

She's IA [Internal Affairs].

Sherlock Holmes

The great love of my life is a homicidal maniac. No one's perfect.

I think I'd like you to leave now.

Sherlock Holmes

I would want us to leave, too.

Dr. Joan Watson

You're getting stung by bees on purpose?

Sherlock Holmes

Obviously.

Capt. Thomas Gregson

Anyone ever tell you you're not much of a statesman?

Sherlock Holmes

Some statesmen have.