Sherlock Holmes quotes from Elementary

How did you learn about Mr. Dylan's criminal record?

Sherlock

When I learned that James Dylan had sold Rada Hollingsworth her viatical, I did some cursory research into his background, research his employers had apparently neglected to do. That's the beauty of the Internet. Twenty-four-seven access to everything from twerking kittens to criminal records.

You look a bit tired.

Sherlock

You look a bit evil.

Sherlock

Did you say everything you wanted to say today? To Moriarty? That is why you accompanied her to the Fuller residence, is it not? So you would have a private dialogue with her?

Joan

Well, you have been hogging her for the last few months.

Sherlock

I told you. I have merely been--

Joan

Studying her. Right. You have feelings for her, and that is perfectly normal.

Sherlock

I have nothing of the sort.

Joan

Irene was the love of your life. That is why, in spite of everything, you can't quite give her up. I get that. But I also know that you're only gonna get hurt in the long run because there is no Irene. There is only Moriarty. And Moriarty is never gonna change.

Your letters have meant a great deal to me. I find them influencing my decisions in the most surprising ways.

Sherlock

You could have killed Agent Mattoo. And from your perspective, it would have been the expedient thing.

And yet, to you, it would have been repugnant. Tell me, is that how you learned to be one of them? By learning to care how your actions seemed in the eyes of another?

Sherlock

I'm not sure I am one of them.

Sherlock

I was attempting to get a rise out of you, to remind you that no matter where you go or how tedious the work you undertake, it will not change what you are, a detective.

Detective Bell

I am a detective.

Sherlock

Well, you still carry the title, yeah. But it's more than that, isn't it? It's a calling. It's your calling. You are not an analyst. You are not an assessor of data. You transferred from Major Crimes either because your pride would not allow you to occupy the same space as me or because you're feeling sorry for yourself. In either case, a pathetic excuse.

Detective Bell

I have a tremor in my hand. I can't shoot, can't get out on the street and work cases because of you!

Sherlock

Bollocks! You could've stayed in Major Crimes until you completed your rehab!

Detective Bell

You're assuming my rehab can be completed!

Sherlock

Because I have faith in you! I have faith in your perseverance! Be my friend, don't be my friend, whatever, but don't be so foolish as to confuse punishing me with punishing yourself!

Detective Bell

You know what I thought the first time I met you? Man, it comes easy for that guy. Well, I'm sorry. It doesn't come that easy to the rest of us.

Sherlock

I am a drug addict, Marcus. A drug addict. And it might seem like an abstraction to you because I have been sober since I made your acquaintance. But two years ago, I was as pitiable a soul as you will ever meet. With help, I fought back, and I got a little bit better. I know what I'm supposed to do with my life. Do you?

Sherlock Holmes, when did you become such a cliché? Standing over a grave, head heavy with dark thoughts. If this were a scene in a play, I'd have refused to perform it.

Sherlock

I was on my way to a meeting. I'm supposed to speak, you know. Well, I thought this would be a good place to collect my thoughts.

I'm sorry I let you down.

Sherlock

You didn't let me down. What you did has got nothing to do with me. I understand that. Came here today because, um, because I loved you very much. And I wanted you to know that you'll be missed.

[quoting from 'Waiting for Godot'] At me too someone is looking, of me too someone is saying, He is sleeping, he knows nothing, let him sleep on.

Sherlock Holmes

I came here to apologize. I owed you, and Detective Bell, a proper good-bye before I left. It was a difficult time. I was--I was thinking of no one but myself.

Capt. Gregson

Must have been a day that ended in "y."

Sherlock Holmes

I had to determine how you'd fared in my absence. I wanted to know exactly how much to apologize for. Over the course of the last week, however, it's become clear that you've done remarkably well.

Dr. Joan Watson

The last week--that woman has been following me for a week?!

Sherlock Holmes

I'm torn really. I'm proud of her surveillance, I'm disappointed in your failure to detect it.

Sherlock Holmes

The homicide that's been plaguing you--the file on your desk.

Det. Marcus Bell

The file that was in my drawer?

Sherlock Holmes

There's a term in psychology circles, functional fixedness, the understanding we develop as the brain matures that a given object has a given function. In layman's terms, it's "the right tool for the right job." Creativity, on the other hand, is often defined as the freedom from so limiting a cognitive bias. To his credit, Agent Boden has shown remarkable creativity. Everyone else looks at the seized inventory from Openshaw's company and they see a bunch of poison toys. Agent Boden looked at the very same inventory--

Kitty Winter

--and saw millions of dollars in street value of GHB.

What's this?!

Dr. Joan Watson

You're...

Not here. I'm not here! Remember that, OK?

Sherlock Holmes

Oh yes, heaven forfend your work with me should endanger your precious day job.

Dr. Joan Watson

You throw knives.

[to Sherlock] You know, it was supposed to be just you here.

Sherlock Holmes

Phillip is arguably the greatest knife-thrower in the world. Has been for decades. Only there's little money to be made in the impalement arts, so as a youth he turned to what you Americans term football.

Dr. Joan Watson

Is this a joke?

Sherlock Holmes

Phillip, head and heart.

Come on.

Sherlock Holmes

Head and heart!

Can I go?

Sherlock Holmes

Yeah. [Phillip leaves.] Fifteen years he spent throwing that misshapen ball around. Fifteen years. When I think of the acclaim he could have brought to competitive blade-slinging.

Sherlock Holmes

Your home, Watson, is utterly pleasant.

Dr. Joan Watson

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Sherlock Holmes

When you told me you wanted a life of your own I didn't realize you wanted the same life everyone else has.

Dr. Joan Watson

Everything OK?

Kitty Winter

Thank you for coming. Like I said on the phone, he just won't stop. You got any ideas?

Dr. Joan Watson

You're not planning to destroy the computer are you?!

Sherlock Holmes

No, I'm not planning to destroy the bloody computer!

Dr. Joan Watson

[to Kitty] Just ride it out. If he starts hitting things, use the fire extinguisher on him.

Sherlock Holmes

Watson, this is Mason. Like many of his generation, he's named after a profession his parents would never deign to practice--Hunter, Tanner, Cooper, Mason, so forth.

Yeah, like Sherlock is such a great name.

Sherlock Holmes

It's a nondisclosure agreement. I would like you to sign it.

Kitty Winter

Morning to you, too.

Sherlock Holmes

It is, for the most part, boilerplate. My secrets stay secret. I have powerful enemies, Kitty. I work every day to make more. You are privy to my method and my madness. So you see the risk I'm taking on, do you not?

Kitty Winter

I do, but we've worked together for months, so why all of a sudden--

Sherlock Holmes

I meant to have your signature from the beginning, but timely paperwork is a weakness of mine.

Kitty Winter

I hereby forego my right to tell my non-existent friends that I am pet-sitting a sociopathic tortoise.