Due South quotes

Fraser Sr.

[as ghost] Hello, son.

Hello, dad. How are you?

Fraser Sr.

I'm dead, son. Other than that, do you mean?

No, that's what I was asking.

Is there any insanity in our family?

Fraser Sr.

No, not that I'm aware of.

[relieved] Good.

Fraser Sr.

Well, there was your uncle Tiberius who died wrapped in cabbage leaves, but we assumed that was a freak accident.

Everyone gets to make one mistake. [shoots Robert] And that was yours. [to his brother] See what he got us.

Far Side calendars!

Oh, I love those!

Fraser Sr.

Count to three and rise up together shooting!

I don't carry a weapon.

Fraser Sr.

You what?

I don't carry a weapon!

Fraser Sr.

Is that smart, son?

Well, it's the law, dad.

Fraser Sr.

No time for niceties. [pulls out his gun] Here, use mine.

Well, I appreciate the offer, but it's imaginary.

Fraser Sr.

[disappointed] Oh. So it is.

Fraser Sr.

What you need, son, if you don't mind me saying, is a good solid plan.

Fraser Sr.

Or, you could just throw a rock.

Drive, quick! Before he comes back!

Vecchio

Who?

My father. Drive. Go!

Vecchio

Fraser, your father's dead!

I know, and I don't mean to speak ill of him, it's just he's driving me nuts.

Vecchio

Your father.

He's not really here. I know that. It's all in my mind. It's just he refuses to stay there, or rather, he refuses to leave there. I don't really understand it, but I'll tell you, it's beginning to wear a little thin! I mean, does he think I'm completely ignorant? The next thing he's going to do, he's going to try to show me how to light a fire! You know, Ray, I've got half a mind just to tell him to pack up and move out?

Vecchio

Of your mind.

Yes.

Fraser Sr.

Hello, son.

Oh, god, he's back.

Vecchio

Fraser, parking illegally in this town is a sport.

Vecchio

What about the woman?

Elaine

You know, funny thing, I'm a having trouble matching the word 'exquisite' to a lot of mug shots.

Look, I can't see why we aren't playing for real money. I mean, we're cops! What are we gonna do, arrest ourselves?

Vecchio

No, but he will.

Fraser

I'm sorry. I would feel honor-bound.

Fraser

You know... there was a woman once, Ray. We were, uh... I don't know what we were. In the end I tracked her up above the 62nd parallel, to a place called Fortitude Pass. A storm had been blowing for days, the whole world was white. By the time I found her I'd lost everything - my packs, my supplies... everything. She was huddled in the lee side of a mountain crag. She was almost frozen, very near death, so I staked a lean-to, draped my coat across it, and dragged her inside and I covered her body with my own, and I just held her, while the storm closed around us like a blanket, until all I could hear was the sound of her heartbeat. Weakening. I forced her to speak to me, just... talk to me, say anything just to keep the cold from taking her. And it snowed for a day, and a night, and a day, and I was delirious. I almost gave up. The only thing I had to hold onto was the sound of her voice, which never wavered. She recited a poem. You know the funny thing? I must have heard that poem... a thousand times that night, but I never heard the words. It ended... badly. She had a... she had a darkness inside her... and the most beautiful voice. The most beautiful voice you ever heard.

He's a Mountie. These Mounties, they catch you sooner or later. I hate that.

That's not real life, Frank. That's Rocky and Bullwinkle.

You're never gonna track a cell. It's a nightmare.

Fraser

Not really. Not if you've tracked caribou.

Vecchio

Fraser? Let's try this one more time, okay? We're in Chicago. We're not tracking caribou. We're tracking gunrunners.

Fraser

Ray, I don't mean to press the point, but we're standing behind a 1971 Buick Riviera. They, on the other hand, are hurtling down a hill at roughly 47 miles an hour in a six-ton steel-plated military weapons carrier.

Vecchio

Works for me!

See, that is the great thing about love. It evens the odds. Anyone can be completely humiliated.

Vecchio

That kiss meant something.

Yeah - it meant 'step closer so I can hit you'.