[Fraser is walking down his hall]
Morning, Mr. Mustafi. [door slams] Mr. Campbell. [door slams] Good morning, Mrs. Garcia. [door slams]
“Diefenbaker's Day Off” · Season 1, Episode 2
In this episode: Benton Fraser (14), Ray Vecchio (9)
HDr. Howard
Constable Fraser. I hear you're quite the Good Samaritan. I didn't know we had any left in this town.
Well I'm sure any one of his neighbors would have done the same.
HDr. Howard
[gives a skeptical look] Yeah. Well, Mr. Pike has suffered considerable soft tissue damage, but none of his injuries are life-threatening.
Thank you. Oh excuse me, Dr. Howard. Is there any medical reason why Charlie might be prone to these accidents? Perhaps an inner ear imbalance resulting from an old boxing injury?
HDr. Howard
How did you know Charlie was a boxer?
Well, his nose cartilage has been reduced by almost 80%, and his left eye socket is raised about a half a centimeter above the right, indicating a slight shift in the cranial plates.
HDr. Howard
Where did you study?
The Inuvik Public Library. My grandparents were librarians.
HDr. Howard
You're kidding?
No.
[Ray is sitting at a bar watching a game on TV]
[his cell phone rings] Ma, I can't talk I'm on a stakeout.
Uh, Ray?
Benny! Benny, you gotta get down here right away. The Bears are finally kicking some butt!
[walking to his apartment door] Evening Mrs. Garcia. How are you tonight? [door slams] Evening Mrs. Campbell. [door slams]
[to Diefenbaker] I brought you supper. Oh you know, I was hoping to, uh, be able to spend some time with you this evening, but I, uh, have a dinner engagement with a very nice woman that I meet in a parking lot. And I can't cancel it because I don't know her phone number - or her name for that matter. No, it's not what you're thinking. It isn't. And you know something? I-I-I don't appreciate your attitude. Y-y-y-you're very judgmental. Just because you were right once does not make you infallible. I am perfectly capable of handling myself in any situation. I am- I am a Mountie. [puts milk in cabinet instead of refrigerator]
MKMackenzie King
How much do you make?
Me? Well it's in Canadian funds, so you have to deduct 38% , but, uh...
MMackenzie
Enough.
About myself. Absolutely. Consulate work is pretty dull. Although there was this one passport case-
MMackenzie
Wait a minute. You work at the consulate?
Well, yes. That's why I'm paid in Canadian funds. It's some- it's and odd governmental regulation.
MMackenzie
So now you're denying you work with Charlie?
With Charlie? No, no. I could never be a professional boxer. I mean, in high school I-
MMackenzie
I saw you bring him in. Are you telling me you don't feed patients to the clinic. You're not involved in this million dollar insurance scam? You're just this straight-arrow, do-gooding Mountie out to help the little guy? Tell me why I find that hard to believe.
Well, I understand your skepticism. Appearances can be deceiving. I mean, for example, you're a nurse, yet you wear extremely high heels to work. Which indicates either you haven't been a nurse for very long, or you have remarkable arches. Also, the way you hold your wrists suggests you spend many hours at a computer keyboard. And add to that, the slight crick in your neck, which indicates extended phone usage, and the minute traces of printer's ink under your three-quarter-inch nails. Which, by the way, must make bandaging quite a challenge. And a less trusting person might assume that you weren't a nurse at all. A less trusting person might assume that you work, say, for a newspaper. But then appearances can be deceiving.
MMackenzie
And you've known this since...?
The parking lot. Also, you should check you tape recorders. I think either your battery is leaking or some liquid has spilled into the motor. From the smell of it, I would say... [sniffs] mace.
Okay, I'm on the edge of my seat. What's this huge moral dilemma you're carrying on your shoulders?
I've given my word to a girl.
Fraser, you do not have to marry every girl that you meet.
Oh no, it's...she's a very young girl.
Well, then, you do have a problem.
[scoffs at the coffee he just bought] I can see you're making those minute adjustments to bring out the flavor, Hugo. [pours coffee into garbage]
[about a man involved in an insurance scam] So what's the dilemma? We bust him.
Then I'd be breaking my word to the little girl.
And this gives you a problem.
Yes.
Oh.
And if I don't turn him in, then I'm withholding evidence of a crime.
Very good, Benny. You can go to the head of the class.
So I've given it some thought and I've come up with the only...only logical solution: you have to arrest me.
For what?
I can't tell you that.
Well, then I'm not gonna arrest you.
But you have to.
Well, I'm not.
You have to!
Oh, I'm not!
You have to!
Okay, so how do you know the guy who paid Charlie's a fighter?
His wrists. They were completely hairless, indicating he wears gloves that are tied tightly in a constant use.
So we're tracking a guy with hairless wrists.
Also, the second knuckle of each hand is slightly lower than the others. His jaw clicked slightly when he spoke, indicating a fractured mandible. And his eyes had shifted downward and laterally in their sockets, cause, no doubt, by repeated blows to the zygomatic arch.
Okay, that I'll buy. But how'd you know he worked out in this gym?
It was written on his t-shirt.
You couldn't have said that in the first place? You had to go through the hairless wrists and the fractured mandibles?!
I'm sorry, Ray.
Aw, man!
[The trainer is taking care of Fraser's first boxing opponent, Fraser is tending to his second opponent, and Ray has a bag of ice to his face]
SBSecond Boxer
Ow!
Sorry.
TTrainer
Your old man taught you how to box like that?
My grandmother, actually. Although I'm beginning to suspect that the book she used was somewhat outdated.
[Later]
[hands ice pack to first Boxer] You're probably going to need this more than me. [to Fraser] Your grandmother?!
Yes.
You think I can get a copy of that book?
He's in on it.
Who?
The trainer.
How do you know?
You'll get upset.
No, I won't! Just enlighten me as to how, in the span of a two-minute conversation, you figured out that this guy's a criminal.
All right. Spittle.
Spittle?
During the course of our conversation, he tried to spit several times, but he couldn't because his mouth was too dry, which would indicate that he's lying.
So let me get this straight. This is what they do in the Yukon, they arrest everybody who doesn't drool?
[Ray and Fraser are on a roof, watching a conversation using a telescope]
They're going to kill Charlie.
You gotta teach me how to do that, with the lips.
[Fraser prepares to climb down the side of the building]
Hey, hey, hey! The stairs are right over there.
Oh, sorry.
That was a stop sign, Ray.
[Ray speeds through another stop sign]
That was another stop sign, Ray.
DCDog Catcher
[to Diefenbaker] I gotcha! Where you going now, fella?
Hi. Diefenbaker, remember what I told you. [to dog catcher] Benton Fraser, RCMP, and this is my dog. Uh, wolf.
DCDog Catcher
I thought that was a wolf. Well he's mine now, 'cause you sure as hell don't have a wolf license.
Ray Vecchio" In fact, he does.
DCDog Catcher
You can't have this. It doesn't exist. It never did!
Signed by the mayor himself. Special dispensation. Now unhand that wolf.
Dog Catcher" [while leaving] Look what you did to my van!
You got it! I only asked you once, and you got it.
Of course I got it. You asked me for it, right?
From the mayor himself?
Well, no. Not exactly. You see, I didn't want to bother him, so what I did was I xeroxed a dog license and I put in "wolf". Wonderful things, photocopiers, huh
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Due South pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.