[the Mimikar inspects our heroes, who are chained to a wooden frame]
GwizdoLian-Chu, the reason you can't feel your body anymore is not because you're clean. It's because you were poisoned.
You mean to say you took all those risks just to save me? Oh, Gwizdo, I don't know what to say.
Gwizdo
Well, given the present circumstances, "Farewell" might be a good start.
[the Mimikar spits fire onto its hands and rubs them together]
It's not farewell. You wanted to save me, now I'll save you.
[Lian-Chu tears the chains off of his hands and lands on his back with a crash. With all his might he starts pushing on both sides of the wooden frame from the middle. The Mimikar prepares to breathe more fire]
Gwizdo
Lian-Chu, you wanna save me? How about now...?!
[Lian-Chu shatters the frame to pieces, breaking the handcuffs on Hector and Gwizdo at the same time just as the Mimikar breathes out the fire. The Mimikar starts bawling]
Gwizdo
[ecstatically] Lian-Chu, buddy, I'll say it for the millionth time: You are simply the best.
[Lian-Chu gives Gwizdo a feeble smile and collapses]
Gwizdo
Hmm? Lian-Chu?
[Distraught, Gwizdo runs over to Lian-Chu]
Gwizdo
No!
[He shakes Lian-Chu's arm desperately]
Gwizdo
Wake up, buddy! Wake up, my friend! Don't you worry, Lian-Chu, we're gonna save you!
[He looks up with a look of grim determination on his face]
Gwizdo
The gland. Hector?
Gwizdo
[picking up a piece of the wooden frame] Get ready. Get ready!
[Gwizdo springs forward with the piece of wood in his hands and charges towards the Mimikar. He swings the piece of wood back, aiming it at the gland]
Gwizdo
Hold Lian-Chu's mouth open!
[the Mimikar breathes out a gale of fire. Gwizdo hurls it forward, stumbles and lands on his face. The piece of wood is sharpened into a stake by the flames and it lands straight in the Mimikar's gland]
[Gwizdo, Lian-Chu, Hector and Chief Big Beard are flying through the sky in the St. George]
CBChief Big Beard
Hey, am I paranoid or do you guys not like me too much?
Gwizdo
[sarcastically] Us? Not like you? Get serious. On the contrary, we think you are the greatest. Why, just this morning I was saying... Oh, wow, look at that beautiful little island!
[the dwarf goes to the edge of the St. George and takes a look]
Gwizdo
[under his breath] Lean over more. You'll get a better view.
[With a look of vicious rage in his eyes, he reaches a trembling hand out to Chief Big Beard to push him off]
[under his breath] Gwizdo!
[He raps Gwizdo's hand with a cane. Gwizdo clutches his hand, seething with pain, and looks up at Lian-Chu angrily. Lian-Chu waves the cane in an "uh-uh" motion. Gwizdo grudgingly continues steering. After a while they land on the island where the dragon is located and get off]
Gwizdo
[discreetly, to Lian-Chu] We'll try the discreet approach some other time.
Gwizdo
Lord Aldo! It's a catastrophe! A terrifying, horrible, abominable dragon is in the midst of pillaging the inhabitants, and slaughtering the village! Uh, I mean pillaging the village and slaughtering the inhabitants.
[Gwizdo looks a little stunned]
Gwizdo
Eh... you gotta do something, old man! Here's an idea. I'm gonna do you a favor. I'm gonna sandwich you in between two contracts. Ten thousand klurks and we'll turn your dragon into a distant memory. That is an incredible price. Hunters like us usually cost twice this much. Just sign your name here, here and here.
ALord Aldo
No. We love our money too much.
Gwizdo
Huh? Come on. Hector-
[He hastily covers his mouth]
Gwizdo
Mh-mh
[He takes his hand away from his mouth]
Gwizdo
I mean, the monster's gonna eat your town.
ALord Aldo
That's too bad.
Gwizdo
[shocked] No? You can't say that, it's, it- that's... immoral.
[Lian-Chu wakes up screaming, waking Gwizdo as well. Gwizdo peers down at him from the top bunk]
Gwizdo
What's up with you now? You scared the pajamas off of me.
The dragon, Gwizdo. He spoke to me again.
Gwizdo
I already told you, Lian-Chu, dragons don't talk. You were dreamin'.
[He lifts himself back up onto his bunk again]
Gwizdo
Goodnight.
[as Gwizdo tries going back to sleep, Lian-Chu thinks for a moment about the Sizzler's words "A real reason to hunt me"]
Say, Gwizdo, why exactly do we hunt dragons?
[Gwizdo peers back over again]
Gwizdo
What a question. Cause we're dragon hunters, that's why. If we were dung beetle hunters, we'd hunt dung beetles.
[He gives Lian-Chu a huge grin]
Gwizdo
It's that simple.
[He lifts himself up onto his bunk again]
Yes, but why are we dragon hunters?
[Once again Gwizdo peers back over the bed, annoyed]
Gwizdo
Because it's all we know how to do. Well, you, at least.
Gwizdo
Look, Lian-Chu, you gotta hunt dragons. They're mean and nasty! They destroy entire villages, devour everybody in sight. Their feet stink to high heaven and they've got big time BO. [Once more he pulls himself onto his bunk] And what's more, they always talk with their mouths full.
[Gwizdo once more peers over to talk to Lian-Chu]
Gwizdo
Oh, what now?!
You just said dragons talk!
Gwizdo
I said that? Never. Not in a million years.
[He pulls himself back up onto his bed]
Gwizdo
I know what I say, don't I? Look, listen, Lian-Chu, knock off the dumb questions and have a glass of water. You'll feel much better in the morning.
Dragon Hunters · 54 quotes
