Doctor Who quotes

Leela

The evil one!

Well nobody's perfect but that's overstating it a little!

Would you like a jelly baby?

Leela

It's true then. They say the Evil One eats babies.

Now drop your weapons, or I'll kill him with this deadly jelly baby!

Kill him, then.

What?

Kill him, then.

I don't take orders from anyone.

If they're preparing for a battle, they're hardly likely to send men on patrol on the off chance that you might come back. [several crossbow bolts strike the tree inches from his face] On the other hand, I could be wrong about that.

I wonder...

Leela

What?

Hush! I'm wondering.

Odd feeling...

Leela

What is?

Standing in my own throat is.

Leela

Doctor?

Hmm?

Leela

Can I stop now?

If you want to.

Leela

It will not affect this?

Affect this? No, it's a yo-yo. It's a game; I thought you were enjoying it.

Leela

[incredulously] Enjoying it?! [drops the yo-yo] You said I had to keep it going up and down, I thought it was part of the magic!

[looks at Leela with wide-eyed surprise] Magic, Leela? Magic?

Leela

I know; I know, there's no such thing as magic.

That's right. To the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable; only unexplained.

Leela

So; explain to me how this, "TARDIS" is larger on the inside than the out?

Hmmm? Alright, I'll show you. It's because insides and outsides are not in the same dimension. [The Doctor holds up two black cubes of differing sizes] Which box is larger?

Leela

[pointing to the larger of the two] That one.

Alright... [The Doctor places the larger cube on the command console, and walks over next to Leela and holds up the smaller one] Now, which is larger?

Leela

[incredulously, pointing at the larger cube sitting on the console] That one!

But it looks smaller.

Leela

Well, that's because it's further away!

Exactly! If you could keep that exactly that distance away, and have it here, the large one would fit inside the small one.

Leela

That's silly.

That's trans-dimensional engineering; a key Time Lord discovery!

Leela

You mean you can't control this thing?!

Of course I can control. (adds in an undertone as she looks at him dubiously) Nine times out of ten. All right, seven times out of ten. Five times out of ten...never mind!

I never carry weapons. If people see you mean them no harm, they never hurt you. Nine times out of ten...

Would you like a jelly baby?

SHUT UP! [slaps the jelly babies out of his hand]

A simple 'no, thank you' would have been sufficient...

You're a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.

Please do not throw hands at me.

[Indicating a piece of Lab equipment] Do you know what this is?

It's a Laserson Probe. It can punch a fist-sized hole through six-inch armour plating or take the crystals from a snowflake one by one.

I see, you're one of those boring maniacs who's going to gloat. Are you going to tell me your plan for running the universe?

Oh, no, Doctor. I'm going to burn out your brain. Very, very slowly.

Oh, there's a mouse in the wainscoating.