Leela quotes from Doctor Who

Leela

Don't worry, Doctor. I found the answer: knife them in the neck!

Leela

Perhaps everyone runs from the "taxman?"

Leela

The evil one!

Well nobody's perfect but that's overstating it a little!

Would you like a jelly baby?

Leela

It's true then. They say the Evil One eats babies.

I wonder...

Leela

What?

Hush! I'm wondering.

Odd feeling...

Leela

What is?

Standing in my own throat is.

Leela

Doctor?

Hmm?

Leela

Can I stop now?

If you want to.

Leela

It will not affect this?

Affect this? No, it's a yo-yo. It's a game; I thought you were enjoying it.

Leela

[incredulously] Enjoying it?! [drops the yo-yo] You said I had to keep it going up and down, I thought it was part of the magic!

[looks at Leela with wide-eyed surprise] Magic, Leela? Magic?

Leela

I know; I know, there's no such thing as magic.

That's right. To the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable; only unexplained.

Leela

So; explain to me how this, "TARDIS" is larger on the inside than the out?

Hmmm? Alright, I'll show you. It's because insides and outsides are not in the same dimension. [The Doctor holds up two black cubes of differing sizes] Which box is larger?

Leela

[pointing to the larger of the two] That one.

Alright... [The Doctor places the larger cube on the command console, and walks over next to Leela and holds up the smaller one] Now, which is larger?

Leela

[incredulously, pointing at the larger cube sitting on the console] That one!

But it looks smaller.

Leela

Well, that's because it's further away!

Exactly! If you could keep that exactly that distance away, and have it here, the large one would fit inside the small one.

Leela

That's silly.

That's trans-dimensional engineering; a key Time Lord discovery!

Leela

You mean you can't control this thing?!

Of course I can control. (adds in an undertone as she looks at him dubiously) Nine times out of ten. All right, seven times out of ten. Five times out of ten...never mind!

Leela

What's the tribe here?

Cockneys!

What's this?!

Leela

A janis thorn.

I thought I told you not to carry any more--

Leela

He was trying to kill you!

Oh. [beat] Oh. Well, in that case, you'd better come with me.

Leela

Why are you putting fire in your mouth?

Litefoot

Good lord. Has the girl never seen a pipe before?

There's no tobacco where Leela comes from

Litefoot

Sounds healthy, but exceedingly dull

Hah! Do you know what this is?

Leela

You ask me so that you can tell me!

Exactly.

Leela

So, maybe he's got another 'eureka'?

No, 'eureka' is Greek for 'this bath is too hot.'

Jago

Has she got the gun?

Litefoot

Hey! Who are you shooting at?

Leela

Well, I've never fired one of these before! [Shoots it at the floor again]

Your triumph... will be short, Earthling... Our Mothership... will blast this island... into molten rock!

Leela

Empty threats, Rutan! Enjoy your death as I enjoyed killing you!

We die... for the glory of our race!... Long live... the Rutan Empire!