Doctor Who quotes

Have you got family?

No. Lost them a long time ago.

How'd you cope with that?

I carry them with me. What they would have thought, and said, and done. Make them a part of who I am. So even though they’re gone from the world, they’re never gone from me.

Oh, by the way, welcome to what I presume is your first alien planet! Don't touch anything.

[lending her sunglasses to Graham] Like an old pair of mine. I say mine — I can’t remember who I borrowed them off now. It was either Audrey Hepburn or Pythagoras.

Eh? Pythagoras never wore shades.

Obviously you never saw him with a hangover.

Hologram. Thought it might be. Good one, though. I love a good hologram. I was a hologram once. For three weeks. The gossip I picked up.

I don’t need other people.

We all need other people, mate.

We’re all alone. That’s how we start, and end, and its the natural state of all points in between.

Were you born that miserable, or did you have to work at it?

You know, when I was four my mum told me to climb a tree. She made me climb until I was too scared to climb any higher. Then she told me to jump into her arms. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m your mum. I’m here for you. I’ll catch you.” So I jumped. And she moved out of the way.

What?

Sorry, did you say your mum did this to you?

Smashed into the ground, smashed this arm, shattered that ankle. And she stood over me and she said, “Now you’ve learned. You can never trust anyone in this life.”

That is messed up.

Best thing she ever did for me. I loved my mum.

[sarcastically] Yeah, she sounds terrific.

Your mum was wrong. We’re stronger together.

Now do you see why I don’t like guns?

Don’t go on about it.

Oh, I will go on about it! A lot.

1955? Elvis, can we see Elvis?

I think he’s in New York this week. I could give him a call.

You haven’t got Elvis’s phone number.

Don’t ever tell anyone I lent him a mobile phone.

We don’t serve Negroes.

Good. 'Cause I don't eat them.

Is anyone excited? 'Cause I'm really excited.

You won't be if it's a bomb.

Don't kill the vibe, Graham.

Oi, whoah, whoah, whoah! What are you doing? That is vandalism. We’ll have to pay for that!

Don’t worry, special pen.

No! Pack it in. You ain’t Banksy.

Or am I?

Banksy doesn’t have one of those… Or have I?

Everything here is a fight for you. Don’t you get tired? What keeps you going?

The promise of tomorrow. When today isn’t working, tomorrow is what you have.

What are you gonna do now?

Oh, you know, back in the box. There's loads to see.

By yourself?

[sadly] Yeah, I suppose.

Do you want to come for tea at mine?

[suddenly brightens] Definitely! Yes I would! Thanks. I love tea. Tea at Yaz's? Amazing!

Ooh, fun fact: If you weave dragline spider silk as thick as a pencil, it’s strong enough to stop a plane in flight.

You're kidding!

I'm not! I’ve had to deal with it. Well, me and Amelia Earhart. You'd like her, she’s a right laugh.

[Showing Psychic Paper] Crisis Investigators. You just ran really quickly out of a room looking really scared. Tell me exactly what's going on, omitting no detail, no matter how strange.

A giant spider just smashed through my bathtub and took out my bodyguard, Kevin.

Right. Very succinct summary, well done.

I eat danger for breakfast. I don’t, I prefer cereal. Or croissants. Or those little fried Portuguese—never mind, it's not important.