Doctor Who quotes

Well... this has certainly been a most entertaining evening. Really, you can't believe any of this, surely, Lady Edizzon?

Lady who?

[agitated] Lady Edizzzzzon...

Little bit of buzzing there, Vicar?

Don't make me angry...!

Why? What happens then?

Dammit! You humanzzzzz, worshipping your tribal sky-godzzzz! I am so much more! That night, the universe exploded in my mind! I wanted to take what wazzzz mine! And, you, Agatha Christie, with your railway station bookstore romancezzzz, what'zzzz to stop me killing you?

[close to tears] Oh, my dear God, my child...!

What'zzzz to stop me killing you all?!

[trying to embrace him] Forgive me!

[pulling her back] No, no, Clemency, come back! Keep away. Keep away, my darling...!

[holds up the Firestone] No! No! No more murder! If my imagination made you kill, then my imagination will find a way to stop you, foul creature!

You said that this is the night Agatha Christie loses her memory!

Time is in flux, Donna! For all we know, this is the night Agatha Christie loses her life and history gets changed!

The Library. So big it doesn't need a name, just a great big "The".

Spoilers!

What?

These books are from your future. If you read ahead, it will spoil all the surprises. Like peeping at the end.

Isn't travelling with you one big spoiler?

I try to keep you away from major plot developments. Which, to be honest, I seem to be very bad at.

Hang on, did you say expedition?

My expedition. I funded it.

Oh, you're not, are you? Tell me you're not archaeologists.

Got a problem with archaeologists?

I'm a time traveller. I point and laugh at archaeologists.

Almost every species in the universe has an irrational fear of the dark, but they're wrong, because it's not irrational. It's Vashta Nerada.

What's "Vashta Nerada"?

It's what's in the dark. It's what's always in the dark.

That's not darkness down those tunnels. This is not a shadow. It's a swarm, a man-eating swarm. [throws a chicken leg into the shadow, which is immediately reduced to mere bone] The piranhas of the air. The Vashta Nerada. Literally, "the shadows that melt the flesh". Most planets have them, but usually in small clusters. I've never seen an infestation on this scale, or this aggressive.

What do you mean, most planets? Not Earth?

[nodding] Mmm, Earth. And a billion other worlds. Where there's meat, there's Vashta Nerada. You can see them sometimes, if you look. The dust in sunbeams.

[unnerved, in denial] If... they were on Earth, we'd know.

Nah. Normally they live on roadkill. But sometimes people go missing. Not everyone comes back out of the dark.

Every shadow?

No. But any shadow.

So what do we do?

Daleks, aim for the eyestalk. Sontarans, back of the neck. Vashta Nerada? Run. Just run.

Oh, for heaven's sake! Look at the pair of you, we're all going to die here and you're just squabbling like an old married couple!

These are our forests, they are our meat. [Spreads out to attack the Doctor]

Don't play games with me. You just killed someone I liked and that is not a safe place to stand! [The Vashta Nerada continue to spread] I'm the Doctor and you're in the biggest Library in the universe. Look me up.

[retreating] You have one day.

Why am I handcuffed? Why would you even have handcuffs?

[Playfully flirtatious] Spoilers.

You can let me do this!

If you die here, it'll mean I've never met you!

Time can be rewritten!

Not those times. Not one line! Don't you dare! It's OK. It's OK, it's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all of that to come. You and me, time and space. You watch us run!

River, you know my name. You whispered my name in my ear! There's only one reason I would ever tell anyone my name. There's only one time I could...

[Smiling sweetly at the Doctor as the countdown reaches zero] Hush, now... Spoilers!

[Voice-over, as the Doctor and Donna walk away] When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it'll never end. But however hard you try you can't run forever. Everybody knows that everybody dies and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever, for one moment, accepts it.

Why? Why would I give her my screwdriver? Why would I do that? The thing is, future me had years to think about it. All those years to think of a way to save her, and what he did was give her a screwdriver! Why would I do that?! [peels back a panel to reveal a set of green lights like on the suits, realizing why his future self has given River the screwdriver] Oh, oh, oh! Look at that! I'm very good!

What have you done?

Saved her! [runs with River's consciousness in the screwdriver] Stay with me! You can do it! Stay with me! Come on!! You and me, one last run!

Ah, I'll be fine. Taking a big space truck with a bunch of strangers across a diamond planet called Midnight... What could possibly go wrong?

Please be aware some contents may contain nuts.

That'll be the peanuts.

The square root of pi is 1.772453850905516027298167483341 - wow!