BBert
Oh, better save the lamps, eh?
[The lamp goes off, but it doesn't go completely dark. There's a green tinge to everything]
Bert? How can light get down here?
What's that smell? It's like something rotting!
[A green trickle of slime is running down the wall]
Ugh, that smell! What is it?
BBert
I've never seen anything like it!
[Too late]
Well, I never thought I'd fire in anger at a dratted caterpillar, but...
[He does. We hear the bullets ricochet off the maggot's body]
No, not a chance, Brigadier. Thick chitinous plates protecting the whole body surface. It's armour plated.
SStevens
In the end, we all want the same thing: an ordered society, with everyone happy and well fed...
...Global Chemicals taking all the profits.
SStevens
What's best for Global Chemicals is best for the world, is best for you.
Such as a little touch of brainwashing?
SStevens
Freedom from fear, freedom from pain...
You got onto your uncle at United Nations, didn't you?
It's only the second time I've ever asked him for anything.
Yes, and look where the first time got you.
Mind? He might even be able to turn you into a scientist.
Don't go too far away, will you? And if you do, come back and see us sometime.
Save me a piece of wedding cake.
Oh, I nearly forgot. Your wedding present. [Gives her the blue Metabelis crystal]
It's beautiful. Thank you, Doctor.
CJCliff Jones
Hey, Jo, come and drink a toast to the happy couple.
CJCliff Jones
Aye, so it is. Don't worry, Doctor. I'll look after her.
BBOSS
How kind of you to drop in, Doctor. I've been looking forward to having a little chat with you.
Who are you? Where are you?
BBOSS
[laughs] You disappoint me, Doctor. I should have thought you'd have guessed. I am the boss. I'm all around you.
[The Doctor turns around to see a red circular screen, with wavy lines appearing as the BOSS speaks]
BBOSS
Exactly. I am the computer.
BBOSS
Well, Doctor, have you nothing to say?
(Derisively.) Why should I want to talk to a machine?
(He starts to wander around the room as BOSS gives out a short laugh.)
BBOSS
Oh really, Doctor! As far as I can gather from your computer record at UNIT, the difficult thing is to stop you talking. (Laughs.) No, no, no, you won't provoke me so easily.
BBOSS
And you? And your human friends? Aren't you machines - inefficient and organic machines?
(He wanders across to the far side of the room to look at one particular bank.)
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We are more than machines.
BBOSS
Ah! Thank you - because in that case, so am I.
BBOSS
I am the first Biomorphic Organisational Systems Supervisor.
(Spells.) B, O, double S - the BOSS!
(He wanders over to another area of the room.)
BBOSS
Ah! My designers also found it amusing. I find it suitable.
You're still nothing but a gigantic adding machine like any other computer.
BBOSS
Oh no! No, no, no, no - I am the only computer ever to be linked to a human brain.
BBOSS
Yes - Stevens! And I learned from him that secret of human creativity is inefficiency.
(The Doctor starts to leaf through a pile of computer printouts.)
BBOSS
The human brain is a very poor computer indeed. It makes illogical guesses which turn out to be more logical than logic itself.
Yes, infuriating, isn't it?
BBOSS
I programmed Stevens to programme me to be inefficient. I am now self-controlling, I am self-sufficient, I am the greatest being this planet has ever seen - I am the BOSS!
Today Llanfairfach, tomorrow the world, eh?
BBOSS
How well you understand me, Doctor.
A machine - a megalomaniac machine...
(He throws the pile of papers into the air.)
But still a machine!
BBOSS
And as such, uniquely fitted to carry out my prime directive.
BBOSS
Efficiency, productivity and profit for Global Chemicals, of course. Nothing and nobody can be allowed to stand in the way of that! Not even you, Doctor...
