A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.
“The Time Warrior” · Season 11, Episode 1
In this episode: Third Doctor (3), Sarah Jane Smith (3)
[the Doctor has ferreted out Sarah Jane's identity] Are you going to give me away, Doctor?
I don't think so.
[suddenly cheering] Why not?
[leans back, tents his fingers] Well, you can make yourself useful. We need someone around here to make the coffee.
[incensed] If you think I'm going to spend my time making cups of coffee for you...
[she halts as the Doctor leaps out of his chair. Reubish is scribbling something in chalk on the side of the TARDIS]
Professor! Would you kindly desist? This isn't a blackboard, you know!
[begins to unlock the TARDIS door]
RProfessor Rubeish
Oh, I do beg your pardon, Doctor. I was just trying to prove...
What are you going to do in there?
[opens the TARDIS door] Make myself a cup of coffee. Good day to you.
Look, please. Now you've had your laugh, now, you know, just let's stop it and let's talk sensibly. I mean, if it's any consolation to you, you're scaring me out of my wits.
BBloodaxe
Perhaps the wench is crazed, Captain.
Oh, come on. What is this place?
IIrongron
You are in the castle of Irongron, my lady. Few uninvited guests come here and few that do leave alive.
All right, if you insist on playing guessing games. Now, it's not a village pageant, it's too elaborate for that. A film set. No. No, no lights, no cameras.
IIrongron
Aye, the wench is crazed right enough. A pity. She is not uncomely.
I've got it! It's one of those tourist places. A medieval castle all restored to its original condition, with jolly banquets and buxom serving wenches. That's it, isn't it? Mind you, I think you're overdoing the sordid realism a bit. I mean, I know things were a bit grotty in the Middle Ages, but, really, you might leave the tourists a bit of glamorous illusion. I've never seen such a scurvy, smelly--
IIrongron
For pity's sake, cease this babbling, girl!
LLinx
Ah, I understand. You have a primary and a secondary reproductive cycle. [beat] It is an inefficient system, you should change it.
You're serious, aren't you?
About what I do? Yes, not necessarily the way I do it.
IIrongron
By heavens, Bloodaxe, 'tis like a tin tadpole - you cut off its head, and yet it wriggles!
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