Twelfth Doctor quotes from Doctor Who

Are you OK?

No. I'm an amnesiac robbing a bank, why would I be OK?

Because of Saibra.

What? Saibra is dead. We're alive. Prioritise if you want to stay that way.

Oh, is that why you call yourself the Doctor? The professional detachment?

Listen, when we're done here, by all means, you go and find yourself a shoulder to cry on. You'll probably need that. Until then, what you need is me!

I've just realised I'm going out for another meal now.

Don't worry. Calories consumed on the TARDIS have no lasting effect.

Wha… Are you kidding?!

Of course I'm kidding. It's a time machine not a miracle worker.

Are there aliens in this school?

Listen, it's lovely talking to you, but I've really got to get on. I'm the caretaker, now. Look, I've got a brush.

Doctor. Is there an alien in this school?

Yes, me. Now go. The walls need sponging, and there's a sinister puddle.

What's that?

A scanner. I'm scanning. Why do I keep you around?

Because the alternative would be developing a conscience of your own. Scanning for what?

Any alien technology in this vicinity should show up. I used to have a teacher exactly like you.

You still do. Pay attention.

What's in the box? It's not really a policeman, is it?

You want to know what's in that box? I'll tell you what's in that box! It's a Time Machine! It also travels in space! And it usually contains a man who just wants to get on with his work of preventing the end of the world — but keeps on getting interrupted by boring little humans!

Cool! So that's really a spaceship!

I'm serious. I'm trying to save this planet.

End of the world for me tonight whatever you do. Parent's evening.

Is your name really Disruptive Influence?

Courtney Woods. Can I go in space?

I'll let you know. I may have a vacancy. But not right now.

I'm a soldier, guilty as charged! You see him? He's an officer.

I am not an officer!

I'm the one who carries you out of the fire, he's the one who lights it.

Tell me what you knew.

Nothing! I told you, I've got... grey areas.

Yeah. I noticed. Tell me what you knew, Doctor, or else I'll smack you so hard you'll regenerate.

I knew that eggs are not bombs. I know they don't usually destroy their nests. Essentially what I knew was: you would always make the best choice. I had faith that you would always make the right choice.

Honestly, do you have music playin' in your head when you say rubbish like that?

It wasn't my decision to make, I told you.

Do you know what? Shut up! I am so sick of listening to you!

Yeah, well, I-- I didn't do it for Courtney. I didn't know what was going to happen. D'you think I'm lying?

I don't know. I don't know! But if you didn't do it for her, I mean… And do know what? It was cheap. It was pathetic. No, no, no, it was patronizing! That was you patting us on the back, saying "You're big enough to go to the shops yourself now. Go on, Toddle along".

No, that was me allowing you to make a choice about your own future. That was me… respecting you.

Oh my god, really? Was it? Yeah, well respected is not how I feel! [Clara sobs]

Right, okay. Uh...

I nearly didn't press that button! I nearly got it wrong. That was you, my friend, making me scared… Making me feel like a bloody idiot.

Language.

Oh, don't you ever tell me to mind my language! Don't you ever tell me to take the stabilisers off my bike! And don't you dare lump me in with the rest of all the little humans that you think are so tiny and silly and predictable! You walk our Earth, Doctor, you breath our air, you make us your friend. That is your moon, too, Doctor, and you can damn well help us when we need it!

I was helping.

What, by clearing off?

Yes.

Yeah? Well, clear off! Go On! Get back in your lonely… your lonely bloody TARDIS, and you don't come back — and you don't come back.

Clara! Clara!

You go away. And you don't come back. Okay? You go a long way away.

You're doing it again.

Doing what?

You're smiling.

Yes, I'm smiling.

It's the sad smile. It's a smile but you're sad. It's like two emotions at once. It's like you're malfunctioning.

A man just died in front of us, can we not just have a moment?!

No! No, no, no, we can't do that, we can't mourn! People with guns to their heads, they cannot mourn, we do not have time to mourn!

Well, he has... tried to entice me here before. Free tickets. Mysterious summons. He even phoned the TARDIS number, you know how difficult that number--

So, you knew. You knew that this was no relaxing break, you knew that was dangerous!

I didn't know! I certainly hoped.

Okay, this, you see? This is why I'm leaving you, this, because you lied, you lied to me again. And now you've made me lie. You made me your... accomplice!

I couldn't risk Gus finding out my plan and stopping me.

So you were… pretending to be heartless?

Would you like to think that about me? Would that make it easier? I didn't know if I could save her. I couldn't save Quell, I couldn't save Moorhouse. There was a good chance that she'd die too. At which point… I would have just moved on to the next… and the next, until I beat it. Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones, but you still have to choose.

Is it (travelling in the TARDIS) like....

... Like what?

.... An addiction?

Well, you can't really tell if something's an addiction 'til you try and give it up.

And you never have.

Let me know how it goes.

It's like a forest fire though, isn't it? The objective is to save the great trees, not the brushwood, am I right?

It wasn't a fire, those weren't trees, those were people.

Community Payback scumbags, I wouldn't lose any sleep.

I bet you wouldn't.

Come on, why can't you say it? I was the Doctor, and I was good.

You were an exceptional Doctor, Clara.

Thank you.

Goodness had nothing to do with it.