Dan and Man in “Canada”

[goes on a walk with comic books on his hand] Grab bags, what a scam. They lure you in with something you like. Hmm. Something with an uplifting message. What is this? Nothing but a hockey almanac, "The Maple Pals," "Sgt. Saskatchewan"! This is the worst comic book ever. No dark side, no inner rage. He doesn't even have any enemies, and politeness is not a superpower. So many maple leaves.

Can I talk to you for a minute, sir?

It's "may I," and no.

We need your help to save the Canadian geese.

I don't even like American geese. One time, a goose bit me and stole my sandwich.

I'm sure that's not true.

Don't you impugn me, you goose smoocher. I say it bit me! like this! Ohh! Ooh! And this. [the man leaves and falls on syrup] Ugh. Sticky. Maple syrup? [picks up the maple syrup jar] Who's responsible for this? CANADA!