Courage the Cowardly Dog · Season 1
Return the slab.
What?
Return the slab or suffer my curse.
What's your offer?
This night, you will be visited by three plagues, each worse than the last. Return the slab.
Huh. Nice try, professor. Who's he kidding? I can see the zipper on that cheap dime store costume.
Huh?
Courage, did you leave the tap running?
Return the slab.
Eustace, what are you waiting for? 'Til we're six feet under?
[to King Ramses] All right, but a million's as low as I'll go.
No, I can't believe I did that. It's mine! Huh? [to King Ramses] That's three plagues! You're out of ammo, mister! [snickers] And don't think you can come around here pushing no tote bags on us neither. What's your offer?
Return the slab.
[Eustace screams when the swarm of locusts return and devours him; Next morning…]
[on TV] At last, the allegedly cursed slab has been returned to King Ramses' crypt, where it will remain buried in antiquity for all time.
Oh, I wonder where Eustace is.
[Cut to the interior of King Ramses' crypt; The slab has been returned to its original state but the image of King Ramses has been replaced with Eustace]
[echoing; offscreen] Aaaaaah! What's your offer?
Eustace, is there something wrong?
My foot! My foot!
Oh! Looks like you've got a fungus. Don't worry, Eustace. I know some family remedies. [The next morning, she and Courage try to heal Eustace's foot with various objects like cactus thorns, lobsters, and a vat of acid] Oh, dear. There's just one thing left to do.
Ain't going to no doctor.
You really should, Eustace.
I ain't going.
It's as big as a cow. You have to go.
Make me.
Ah, suit yourself. But I think it's starting to fester.
All I need is a nap.
Where is my Eustace? What have you done with my Eustace?!
Shut up, fat woman. You won't be needing your husband anymore, see?
[Courage places a sample of a foot fungus on the CD-ROM storage drawer of the Computer's hard drive for analysis]
YUCH! PTOOIE! Nasty! There's only one cure for that. Dog spit. Work up a good drool, baby.
[As the Hunchback, Courage's new friend, is invited for pancakes for breakfast with Courage, Eustace enters the kitchen and screams at the Hunchback. He and Courage gasp]
Oh!
Didn't I tell ya we got no place for the likes of you? Now get, and stay out!
Now, Eustace, he is Courage's friend.
That makes it worse!
Oh, Eustace, don't make such a fuss. Now sit down and eat your breakfast. I'll even get those little blueberries you like so much.
[A lonely Goose God lives up in the heavenly clouds above the Bagge farmhouse, desperately searching for a queen to propose]
[saddened] Empty. My heart is empty, and my clouds are full. [summons a lightning bolt and throws it at the windmill below, destroying it] A goose, a gander, a godly goosey gander, without love, is nothing but a fowl. [sadly sits in his throne chair] Without love, all of this is but puff and fluff and stuff. [honks in grief]
[Courage and Muriel come out of the house and place two flower pots on the porch]
The coming rain should do these flowers good.
[presses the horn on the truck's steering wheel while doing some repairs; annoyed] Darn horn.
[calling out] Eustace? It'll be raining any minute now. You should come inside.
[Up in the heavens, the Goose God gazes down at Muriel and magically blooms the flower pot with flowers by sending down a ray of light, falling romantically in love with her]
[devoted] Oh, pure and formless beauty. Oh, light, oh, sky, oh, baby's breath. You have grown solid. You have grown real. You have grown fat. You have grown real fat, and your name is…
Muriel? Muriel!
Muriel. If letters be in order, let them be in such order as to spell...Muriel.
Muriel! Where's my pliers?
I am filled, full, and dizzy. I am… a stuffed goose. [sighs] If I gaze at her longer, I shall be consumed. Has ever a Goose God gazed upon such unfeathered beauty, immortal flesh? Does a Goose God pursue a mortal woman? Does one who calls the clouds home love one who must floss? Does a Goose God love a Muriel? Eh, I'll give it a shot.
[hiding in a barrel, holding flowers and a box of candy] Flowers. Candy. They pale in the wake of her beauty. [throws them out of the barrel]
[Courage babbles to Muriel as he points to the Goose God standing outside the door]
Now, Courage, it's not polite to point.
Mortal woman, I am here to pronounce eternal love for you.
And you pronounced it perfectly.
You do not understand. I present to you an expression of my love. This gift. [magically summons an endless field of flowers and Courage growls]
Ah, that's sweet, but I'm spoken for.
Mm-hmm.
But thank you. I've never had an endless field of flowers before. It's very flattering.
[Goose God sighs sadly and erases the endless flower field]
Who was that?
It was an admirer who offered me a field of flowers and his eternal love.
Oh. You seen my screwdriver?
That goose better not try to take Muriel away. [growls] It's true.
One way or another, that goose has got to go.
[heading over to Eustace's truck after hearing the sound of its horn] Oh, I have found you! I have found my true love! I have found my Queen!
[stammering] No. I am not his Queen.
[lays on top of the truck's roof] Oh, speak to me again, my Queen. Make your sounds of love and longing.
[regains consciousness and seesGoose God taking his truck up into the heavens, proposing it as his queen] Heh? My truck!
[A few days later…]
[holding wedding invitations] Look, Courage. We've been invited to a wedding. The goose and Eustace's truck are going to get married.
[sobbing over the loss of his truck] I'm nothing without my truck! Come back to me, truck! Come back!
[Courage kicks the bathroom door open and he and Muriel find Eustace sticking his head in the bathtub drain while taking a bath]
Oh, my. I'm beginning to worry about you, Eustace. Tomorrow, we're off to see the doctor. That's all there is to it.
[Later that night… while the Bagges and Courage are asleep, the Black Puddle Queen rises from the puddle, enters the house, and walks upstairs to their bedroom, and rattles the doorknob, only to find that it's locked, and slips under the door]
[wakes up, screams, and hides under the covers] This can't be happening!
[walks over to Eustace's side of the bed] Eustace… [picks him up and carries him outside the house and disappears into the puddle]
[walks up to the puddle; sighs] The things I do for love. [then notices the puddle is beginning to shrink] Hey, is this puddle getting smaller? It is getting smaller! I better hurry before it closes up!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Courage the Cowardly Dog pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
