Abed and Frankie in “Ladders”

Abed

[in Southern accent] Temporal?! Mutation?! In English, doc! [in normal accent] Simply put: Mr. President, in five hours, these dinosaurs will become…

Frankie

Mind if I sit here?

Abed

…Time-osaurs. Go ahead. I can reshoot.

Frankie

How’s everything going?

Abed

I have concerns.

Frankie

I’d like to hear them.

Abed

I’m worried you’re not distinct enough from Annie, both in terms of physicality and purpose.

Frankie

Okay.

Abed

I can’t determine if you have any specific flaw, quirk, or point of view that makes you a creative edition to the group.

Frankie

I don’t know what that means, but I’m writing it down.

Abed

My umbrella concern is that you as a character represent the end of what I used to call “our show”, which was once an unlikely family of misfit students, and is now a pretty loose-knit group of students and teachers, none of whom are taking a class together in a school which, as of your arrival, is becoming increasingly grounded, asking questions like, “How do any of us get our money?” “When will we get our degrees?” and “What happened to that girl I was dating?” as opposed to questions I consider more important like “What is real?” “What is sanity?” “Is there a God?” “Where’s that Pierce hologram?” Jeff said last year he saw a Pierce hologram. None of the rest of us have ever seen it, so if there’s a Pierce ghost on campus, I’d like to get a head-start on busting it.

Frankie

…Alright. This is the first I’ve heard that I’m a character on a show; I’m excited to be one, but I agree I’ll be a boring one. Quirks are not my strong-suit; results are. I love quirky people; I come from a big family of people who are literally insane; I moved out here to take care of one of them. But I myself am exceptionally boring, and I am quite proud to be that way, because it allows me to help the less boring people and turn quirks into results.

Abed

That’s the most interesting take on not being interesting I’ve ever heard.

Frankie

As far as what I represent on your show, I wouldn’t give me or anyone else that kind of power. Good shows change…I assume. Personally, I don’t own a TV.

Abed

You’re the first person to say that that I didn’t immediately delete from my brain.

Frankie

Thank you.