Jeff, Pierce and others in “Advanced Gay”

Jeff

Pierce, what the hell was that?

Pierce

That was-

That was my boy, standing up for good ol’ Hawthorne values.

Jeff

All due respect, sir, I have zero respect for you.

Typical Welsh nonsense!

Pierce

But, Father, I-

Jeff

Pierce, you really wanna be like this guy? He's wearing elephant bones on his head.

He will be what I tell him to be because I am his father!

Jeff

Listen up, Colonel Cryptkeeper. I could live a million years and I could spend every minute of it doing important things. But at the end of it all, I would only have lived half a life if I had not raised a son. This was a gift that was handed to you. You squandered it. And the reason you have so much hatred in your heart is because you're trying to fill a hole where your kid was supposed to go, and now it's too late. Now, you're just stomping around trying to prove you exist. Well, mission accomplished! But here's a question I'd like to pass on to you from every son of every crap dad that ever lived: "So what?!" I'm done with you. He's done with you. The world is done with you.

Jeff

Come on in. He's a Hawthorne. This is what they do. He's bluffing.