“Chuck Versus the Kept Man” quotes from Chuck

Casey

Can't do it, Walker. Sometimes Gertrude, she doesn't listen to what I'm trying to tell her.

Sarah

I can sympathize.

Casey

Thank you.

Sarah

But you're putting on that bathing suit.

Casey

Like hell.

Sarah

This is a dream mission, Casey, and I'm not gonna let you screw it up. Do you know how many skimpy outfits I have had to put on for this team? Did you hear me complain when I had to wear a catsuit or seven inch platform high heels or a belly dancer's outfit?

Casey

Belly dancer's outfit?

Sarah

Okay, that was private. Just put on the banana hammock and stop whining.

Casey

You okay, Walker? You seem a little emotional these days?

Sarah

Shut up.

Chuck

Mind if I give you s little advice?

Casey

Use the word "care", I'm gonna take this glass, shove it down your throat, and punch you in the stomach so it shatters.

Chuck

What did we talk about at the restaurant? What did we talk about? Are you using this? [Draws heart shape on Casey's chest] I think you owe it to our client! Listen to her signals, what is it she's really telling you?

Casey

You think I need to be more sensitive. Be more in tune with my girlfriend's emotions. You're one to talk.

Chuck

What's that suppose to mean?

Casey

Means you've got your head so far up your new care manifesto, you haven't realized your own wife thinks she's pregnant, and is hiding it from you.

Chuck

What? Are you crazy? There's no way...there's no way she could be pregnant. I would have to be the most clueless, insensitive, uncaring.....

Sarah

Arr, Chuck!

Casey

The housemaid is laying out coffee spoons with the dinner service! There's going to be hell to pay at Downton Abbey tonight!

Jeff

[in the basement, seeing paint on the back of Lester's shirt] What the...? [He turns around and feels and smells the wall] It's still wet.

Lester

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Jeff

Remember when I was in Pine Ridge?

Lester

The...mental institution? Yeah.

Jeff

It was so dreary, they'd actually put fake backdrops in the windows.

Lester

That's pretty cruel.

Jeff

I always knew it was fake.

Lester

Um, where are we going with this, buddy?

Jeff

[grabs a dumbbell] I guess what I'm trying to say is...it's not always easy to trick a mental patient. [He punches through the wall with the dumbbell and discovers the Castle, where Chuck, Sarah and Morgan are sitting] I knew it! We were right! Lester!

Lester

Jeffrey!

Morgan

Oh, crap. I mean, we've got a problem.

Chuck

Yeah, I'd call it that.