Chicago P.D. quotes

Antonio

Here! [handing him the cold ice pack]

Ruzek

Thanks, [placing the cold ice pack on his crotch and softly wincing in momentary discomfort] I think they're swollen, seriously dude. [breathing in agony]

Antonio

I'll take your word on that. [as Halstead enters the room]

Halstead

Uniforms have picked up on Nadia trying to score over on Roosevelt they're bringing her in. You all right?

Ruzek

No!

Halstead

Just checking!

Ruzek

Yeah I'm glad we're all having fun with this Antonio, Wendy and I wanna have kids, if I'm sterile, I'm gonna have that chick's neck.

Antonio

Uh uh, this is all on you Ruzek, can't let your guard down like that ever. [exiting the room]

Ruzek

[sighing with relief] Good talk!

Voight

You like working in this unit, you keep it in your pants.

Halstead

I didn't know it was out.

Voight

Erin's off-limits. End of discussion.

Ruzek

[notices the adult diapers Olinsky is holding] Wait, wait, wait. What are those for?

Olinsky

You're on a stakeout for who knows how long drinking that fluorescent poison you're not gonna be able to hold it.

Ruzek

You can't be serious. I'll find somewhere to take a leak.

Olinsky

You know, when I was a rookie, I was assigned to keep eyes on this B&E crew that nobody could touch.

Ruzek

Right.

Olinsky

The first time I got eyes on him, I lost him. You know why?

Ruzek

No.

Olinsky

'Cause I had to take a piss. And I'm gone three, four minutes tops. And I say to myself, "Next time I got eyes on him, I'm not gonna move. I'm not going anywhere." And that's where these came in. And I nailed the crew pulling a million-dollar score.

Lindsay

Hey, we need to talk.

Voight

Come on. [he ushers Lindsay into his office and she shuts the door] Yeah?

Lindsay

The overprotective father thing was fine when I was a teenager, but I don't need you looking out for me anymore.

Voight

It's Halstead I'm looking out for. I've seen what happens to the guys you date.

Lindsay

What is that supposed to mean?

Voight

You've left a string of broken hearts behind you since you were 15. I need Halstead 100% effective, not throwing pebbles at your window at 3:00 in the morning.

Lindsay

You don't get to tell me who I can and can't hang out with on my personal time.

Voight

My unit, my rules. You wanna date a cop? There are plenty other districts out there.

Halstead

You speak Italian? Where'd you pick it up?

Olinsky

I was stationed in Vicenza.

Halstead

You served?

Olinsky

Yeah, A.B.C.T., part of a rapid response team. It's about an hour away from everyone. You?

Halstead

Rangers. Afghanistan.

Olinsky

Well, that explains a lot.

Halstead

[smirks] Were you ever injured in the line of crushing grapes?

Olinsky

Excuse me?

Halstead

Was that in World War II?

Olinsky

I can't hear you.

[jokingly to Lindsay as they both make coffee in the pantry] Oh, yeah, that confirms it. Chicago cops cannot make a good cup of coffee either.

Lindsay

I want the bad guys to get what's coming to them.

Well, sometimes they do. Do you believe in karma?

Lindsay

I believe in payback.

Just a little unsolicited advice, just because I've been there...be careful 'cause payback is the biggest bitch when it consumes you.

FYI, you're not just my fiancé. You're my finacé that got in early in Facebook, like way early. You're worth at least 10 million.

Halstead

Well, how about I get a perm and I wear a hoodie and you can tell everybody I'm Mark Zuckerburg?

The reason I don't wear a ring...

Halstead

Why can't I be a cop?

What does your suit look like?

Halstead

Like a suit.

It has to look high-end.

Halstead

I have nice suits.

Platt

Hey, Olinsky, department's pushing back on these expense reports you turned in.

Olinsky

[to Ruzek] You owe me 27 bucks.

Ruzek

No, no, no. Nobody told me that we got to go out of pocket on stakeouts.

Platt

Is that so? Oh, great. Order some caviar and lobster tails next time, then.

Platt

Hey, Turner and Hooch, get over here.

Atwater

I better be Turner.

Burgess

What is it?

Platt

Need a photo.

Atwater

Because we found a body. If this is for the Tribune, my mama might want a couple––

Platt

For your new I.D. badge, Einstein.

Lindsay

Would you spit out whatever you're trying to spit out?

Halstead

Okay. Maybe this last month I don't like being the guy you use to get a rise out of your father figure.

Lindsay

You wish I was using you.

Halstead

Oh, I'm serious. You have issues. You need to work them out. Work them out without me.

Lindsay

I repeat, we haven't done anything. And if you want to keep it that way...

Halstead

Hey, that'd be great.

Lindsay

All right, perfect.

Halstead

Fantastic.

Lindsay

You done?

Halstead

I was done long before this conversation started.

Lindsay

Really? Then shut up.

Ruzek

Al. Alvin, you're not listening to me.

Olinsky

Well, you talk so much, it's hard to know when I'm supposed to listen and when I can just tune out.

Ruzek

Sheesh. You're miserable.

Olinsky

No kidding, kid. But you'll learn.

Ruzek

I'm not you, old man. You can keep your misery. I'm all sunshine and roses over here. Peachy keen, Mr. Bean.

Voight

You were just going to walk up, shoot Ross in the middle of the street, huh? Let me ask you something. How stupid are you?

I got a damn good insurance policy.

Dawson

[to Gradishar] His family lost a father because you used him as the bottom rung of your ladder. You don't know. You don't know what we do or what we sacrifice or the price we pay for this for the job. And you'll never know.

Halstead

If they have a private security cam at the lot, I bet you we get at least a plate off the escalade.

Lindsay

Genius.

Halstead

I am. Thank you.