Shay quotes from Chicago Fire

It reminds me of this joke my dad once told me. Why is Chicago style pizza so thick?

Why?

Don't worry about it.

You messing with me?

No! Women love it. You would not believe how many nerve endings are–– [sees a stunned Casey staring at them]

Good morning, Lieutenant.

Don't stop with the sex advice on my account.

You think that woman knew her husband was a total scumbag before or after she married him

He could've pretended to be Prince Charming for years and she wakes up too late next to a monster under a bridge.

You happen to see Ellen yesterday?

Dang I missed it.

It was a great episode. They had the cast of Glee on.

Wow, you must've crapped a rainbow.

Yeah, it made me at least 5% gay-er.

You wanna break balls with me, you better be damn sure. 'Cause I wrote the book.

You wrote a book, which is two pages long and self-published.

Okay, but there are better ways than getting your ass suspended, you know?

[deadpan] Yeah. But you and me would have eventually gotten into a huge fight sooner or later, you know, ending in an ugly divorce, and the whole thing.

I'm sure that this chick is awesome and all, but having a woman around is really gonna change things.

Oh, gee, thanks.

You know what I mean. Having a woman in the truck, you don't know what goes on in there, the jokes we crack.

Otis

The smells we produce.

I can imagine.

Mouch

Nope. No, you can't.

Does anybody mind if I use one of these lawyers as a latrine? 'Cause that's what they deserve.

Herrmann, I'm eating.

All right, sorry.

[to a victim who keeps yelling at her] Ok, we're here to help you. That is our job and we're just thrilled to be doing it. We will be doing everything we can to treat your injury.

[smiles, sarcastically] Yes. And while we do so, we hope that you'll refrain from yelling at us.

Or suing us.

Oh yeah. Yeah, that would be good.

Hey, we've been working with guys since we started in CFD. Yeah, we had to prove ourselves every day and let plenty of stuff roll off our backs, but I can handle that.

This place is different. I know you felt it too. It's stone age.