Is that you Bosley? You sound like a bagpipe in heat.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
How'd you like your little tour of duty?
It ranked right up there with abscessed teeth.
Not too much, huh?
No.
Well, let's put it this way Charlie. The next time duty calls, let's let it call somebody else, huh?
She may be Tracy Martell to you but her police blotter reads Delores Martin, with six priors, starting when she was sixteen. All prostitution beefs.
What happened to the art history major?
Well that’s the thing, she is in her last year of school, with a 3.4 average.
Wow, not your average lady of the night.
So what’s the tie up between her and consenting adults?
I don’t know but I have a feeling one of us is going to get to play call girl.
Bingo. Guess who?
If I could squeeze a gold watch out of Charlie now would be the perfect time to retire.
CCooley
Sit right down Mr Bosley, let’s discuss your needs.
I need that wonderful lady who just left. Do they all look like that?
CCooley
Yes, now let’s see, your profile says you enjoy quiet evenings at home curled up with a good book, I would suggest that you want someone who’s mature, well informed, cerebral.
I want that like I want the heartbreak of psoriasis.
(pointing a shotgun) Move and you’re part of the wall!
What a rotten attitude!
How’s your skating class?
Like a scrimmage with the Pittsburgh Steelers
Did Charlie tell you why he’s got you taking those lessons yet?
No, all I know is it’s really tough on my...
Legs?
Those too.
I’m in
Do you think they bought it?
Well if they didn’t just tell Charlie I want a simple funeral, you know no frills, no fuss. And then I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered all over Charlie’s water bed.
How did you know Charlie had a water bed?
Just an educated guess
Uh-huh, I won’t ask you where you got your education.
Now, wait a minute Sabrina. Let's go over this again. Professor Peter Wycinski hurdled his 60-year-old body onto our porch and marched into our room bearing a bottle of plum brandy?
I know that sounds crazy.
Oh, no, it makes perfect sense.
Yeah, just last week Rosalynn Carter leaped through my kitchen window with a quart of chilli.
Mrs Evers?
EMrs Evers
Yes?
I stopped by your house and your maid told me you were here so I took a small liberty.
EMrs Evers
Did you enjoy it?
Enjoy what?
EMrs Evers
Taking a small liberty with my maid.
Oh no, not with her, with you. What I mean is I took the small liberty of coming down here.
EMrs Evers
Oh, I’m glad we worked that out.
Free form.
What exactly is free form?
Show them Bosley. (he starts playing an adult film) Now here’s some film Marvin didn’t want us to see.
Oh, little bo peep.
That is not the little bo peep I knew and loved as a child.
Yeah well this is the unabridged version.
How do they do that?
Very carefully.
I’m confused.
Alright, ask questions and I’ll try to explain.
Woah Bosley, don’t you think you put a little too much garlic in there?
No advice please, when I cook I do it alone.
If you eat that much garlic you’ll do everything alone.
Wait a minute, are you saying they are suspects?
I’m saying they might give us some kind of handle on this. The trick is to question them so they won’t realise they’re being questioned.
Ah-hah I see. What we need is a sharp eye and a deft clever tongue.
That would be wonderful Bosley, but meanwhile see what you can find out without blowing it.
Listen, last night at 11.30 I woke up and Halverson was slipping back into the room.
11.30? That was just after Faraday was attacked.
Halverson has a grudge against nurses in general.
And maybe Faraday in particular.
Now if he was cleverly and deftly interrogated...
That’s a good idea Bos, the only trouble is you’re the one who’s closest to him, so you’ll have to do it.
Oh that’s amusing, that is very amusingǃ
My teeth feel like they have little sweaters on them.
Would you think I was pushy if I asked why you were shooting at me?
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