Brothers & Sisters · Season 1
This is not a class. You're asking me out. Is this because I wouldn't go out on a date with you? If it is mister, let me tell you this is sexual harassment and I don't plan to take that lying down.
The jokes that are running through my head right now.
Well, keep them there.
Uncle Kevin, can I ask you a question?
How come I got all the good looks in the family?
Will you marry me?... Oh. Oh my God. No, no-no-no, I didn't, did I just say, yes I did, I did, I just proposed to you.
I think that you just did.
Oh it's not. It's not top secret. But it, yes it's a... it is, it's a very sensitive national security thing. I'm sorry that's all I can say about it.
I'm sorry, "thing"?
That's why McCallister gave you a bag of lingerie to take with you? Oh yeah, I can see the faith of the free world hangs in the balance.
Apparently that's not the only thing that's hanging.
Oh that's funny, Justin. When did you get to be so funny?
I can't believe you did that! This dress is couture!
I'm sure it's been stained before!
What does a girl have to do to get a drink around here?
Uh, follow Kevin around.
Sarah, you're such a good mom. I know you're not a quitter, sweetheart. I wasn't either, and maybe that's why I never let myself see what was really happening. I stood by your father blindly, no matter what. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did, I don't want you to. You have to decide whether you can ever trust Joe again or not, and if you can't...
What if I can?
Holly, I'm going to tell you something you don't want to hear. You have to let him go. I did.
Are you in pain?
No, no. They gave me a nerve block, so I don't feel anything from the waist down.
Great. At least the female population of Pasadena will be safe for a while.
Oh my god, you’re such a gossip. This is killing you isn’t it? All right, lay it on me.
I heard Mom on the phone and she definitely used the word pregnant, and Kitty’s the only one of us having sex right now.
What are you now, like 35 years old? Have you ever had a relationship that’s lasted longer than three weeks? You walk around in your suit and tie pretending that you’re a man, but really you’re just a scared little boy.
Actually, I have a boyfriend, and I have for quite awhile now…….
…big freaking whoop ..and what is she doing here?
I’m here for my daughter.
In case you haven’t noticed, she’s been living here all summer. Wishing she was a Walker. You too are exactly alike. You’ll do anything. No I’m sorry — screw anyone to be a part of this family!
Well, if you rule out all the democrat you're basically left with Ted Nugent, Lynyrd Skynyrd and ZZ Top!
Well, I'm a democrat and I lost my virginity to "She's Got Legs"!
Eww wow! Crossing the line Sarah!
Mine was the "Dirty Dancing" theme!
Wow! Be gayer!!
I bet Kitty's was "Talk radio"! Hey, Justin?
Don't look at me! I'm not having this conversation in front of mom!
Oh, please! Pink Floyd's "The Wall", Gabby Clyner, 10th grade!
You know that?
I have two first sex soundtracks, girl and guy.
Okay now stop, stop you guys, please you're ruining all music for me.
Sorry I'm late
It's alright buddy
Robert, what song did you lose your virginity to?
Mom!
Well we're just trying to figure out our wedding song.
Interesting methodology, uhhm, Endless love!
Aaaah!
Yeah ok. Does anyone know that Kitty has us scheduled for for dance lessons?
Awwww Kitty!
Come on Tommy, I'm not that bad.
I got it Pretty Woman!
Come on mom! At a republican candidates wedding.
No that was the song I lost my virginity to.
Mom we don't need to picture you and dad....
Who said anything about dad.
What?
I thought dad was your first?
Nope.
I thought dad swept you off your feet when you were barely 18.
Mom you slut!
It was this guy I'd known in college, Stan Harris and it was in the back of his dad's car.
Ewwwwww! [ They stand to exit]
He was tall and I was short... [All leave] So what it's like I've never had sex before.
I can't believe I'm being forced to go to a dinner party just so Mom can impress a Republican she has the hots for.
You keep saying he's a Republican. I'm far more impressed she might be dating a black man
Uh, not that I don't love thumbing through gay porn… I'm sorry, male clothing catalogs… But what am I doing here, bro?
Be nice or I'll put you on the mailing list
Remember when we went surfing the other day, and you and Tommy accused me of hiding something about Rebecca?
Yeah, vaguely.
There was a minute there when she wasn't sure she was our sister.
You mean she's not?
She is, she took a test. But when I found that out, I was kinda into that idea that she...wasn't
Why would you not want her to be part of the family?
I do...but I wasn't unhappy with the fact that she wasn't.
What are you talking about?
How are you not getting this? I know you're gay, but you have eyes! She's not like...unattractive. you know?
You're attracted to our sister?
Because I thought she wasn'T. That's what I'm saying.
shut up. oh my god, you are sick. What...have you
no!No! Of course not.Look, I swear, I only thought of this when this whole paternity thing came up,and it was, like,just a... like a moment,and...and now I'm freaked out because what if it happens again?
You have to stay away from her.
I know. I'm trying to-- to avoid her, but she keeps wanting to hang out. Like, kev, I'm making up, like, hot chicks that I'm supposedly dating so I can avoid her.
Stop talking.
I told you. I'm the most disgusting person in the world.
Okay, okay. Let's--let's just...let's just talk about this rationally. It's-- it's not entirely abnormal that you
No, I know, I know.
So you just need a lile time-out to stop thinking about... inbreeding.
Ke-kevin!
What? I'm trying to be sup-- why did you even tell me this?
Because you asked me, kevin! You know what? I'm j-- I'm just gonna tell her. I mean, I'm gonna get it out there
Absolutely not.
what?
Do not talk to her about--don't talk to anyone about this. Seriously, I love you, and I get that because she's not a sister, you might have thought things might have worked out a-a little more complicated, but she is, okay?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Brothers & Sisters pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
