Robert McCallister quotes from Brothers & Sisters

Kitty

We talked twice, once on camera for about, probably twenty minutes. I don't even buy shoes without walking around in them longer than that.

Robert

You see these shoes? I bought them on the Internet. Sight unseen, never had a problem. I'm a very good judge of quality, Ms. Walker, and of how things are going to fit.

Kitty

Did you just compare me to shoes?

Robert

You started it.

Robert

If this is where you keep the wine, where do you keep your clothes?

Kitty

Shut your mouth and come on. Shut the door.

Robert

I am having like a fifth grade flashback of Deena Segerson and seven minutes in heaven.

Robert

Have you always been a closet drinker?

Kitty

Are you done?

Robert

No, I'll think of some more.

Kitty

We had to promise no wine when we took Justin out of rehab.

Out of where?

Kitty

Oh.

Nora

Mother, Justin is in a rehab program. He's a drug addict.

Kevin

Oh, mom, a little more discretion. We are in the presence of a US senator.

Robert

It's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Kevin

But homosexuality is?

Kitty

Oh Kevin, you know. Please, enough. Can you just tell him you have a gay brother too.

Who's gay?

Kitty

I...

Robert

I think you just outed two brothers for the price of one.

Kevin

Thanks Kitty. That would be me, grandma. I'm gay.

You're not gay. Justin maybe, but you?

Kevin

Oh I am gay, I swear. I am.

Kitty

You know tonight was unusually bizarre, even for my family.

Robert

Are you kidding me, it's been fantastic... [pause] like dinner theatre or the circus.

Robert

If you're gonna ask me something, you should just ask it.

Kitty

Senator, are you running for President?

Robert

Yes, I am, Miss Walker. You know what else? I'm gonna win.

Kitty

I've got to make Hair Boy look Presidential.

Robert

Senator Hair Boy, please.

Robert

Hold on to what's good. What makes you happy.

Kitty

You make me happy.

Robert

I do?

Robert

From what I hear, Kevin's a serial dater.

Kitty

No, no, no, he just, you know, no, he was just picking the wrong guys.

Robert

Please Kitty, you used the phrase, and I'm quoting here, man whore.

Kitty

Will you marry me?... Oh. Oh my God. No, no-no-no, I didn't, did I just say, yes I did, I did, I just proposed to you.

Robert

I think that you just did.

Kevin

Well, if you rule out all the democrat you're basically left with Ted Nugent, Lynyrd Skynyrd and ZZ Top!

Sarah

Well, I'm a democrat and I lost my virginity to "She's Got Legs"!

Justin

Eww wow! Crossing the line Sarah!

Tommy

Mine was the "Dirty Dancing" theme!

Kevin

Wow! Be gayer!!

Sarah

I bet Kitty's was "Talk radio"! Hey, Justin?

Justin

Don't look at me! I'm not having this conversation in front of mom!

Nora

Oh, please! Pink Floyd's "The Wall", Gabby Clyner, 10th grade!

Justin

You know that?

Kevin

I have two first sex soundtracks, girl and guy.

Kitty

Okay now stop, stop you guys, please you're ruining all music for me.

Robert

Sorry I'm late

Justin

It's alright buddy

Nora

Robert, what song did you lose your virginity to?

Kevin

Mom!

Kitty

Well we're just trying to figure out our wedding song.

Robert

Interesting methodology, uhhm, Endless love!

Aaaah!

Robert

Yeah ok. Does anyone know that Kitty has us scheduled for for dance lessons?

Tommy

Awwww Kitty!

Kitty

Come on Tommy, I'm not that bad.

Nora

I got it Pretty Woman!

Kitty

Come on mom! At a republican candidates wedding.

Nora

No that was the song I lost my virginity to.

Tommy

Mom we don't need to picture you and dad....

Nora

Who said anything about dad.

What?

Kitty

I thought dad was your first?

Nora

Nope.

Sarah

I thought dad swept you off your feet when you were barely 18.

Kevin

Mom you slut!

Nora

It was this guy I'd known in college, Stan Harris and it was in the back of his dad's car.

Ewwwwww! [ They stand to exit]

Nora

He was tall and I was short... [All leave] So what it's like I've never had sex before.

Robert

Look at him. I forgot how little newborns are.

Kitty

I know.

Robert

He needs a name.

Kitty

He does.

Robert

What's it gonna be? Connor or Ben?

Kitty

I had an idea. I mean, Trish gave us this gift and I thought maybe it would be nice if we honored her.

Robert

I think naming him Trish would be child abuse.

Kitty

Trish Evans.

Robert

Evan.

Kitty

It means peaceful warrior.

Kitty

Hi. Yes, I was wondering if I could make an appointment with Dr. Avadon. Oh, no, no. She told me that she would be able to squeeze me in. Oh, sorry. Kitty. Kitty McCallister. And I was wondering also if maybe you could tell me if my test results came in.She told me that they would be in today.

Robert

Kern knows.

Kitty

No. You're right. Of course. I'm sorry. I'll call back later. Thank you. (hangs up)

Robert

It's unbelievable.

Kitty

I'm sorry. What'd you say?

Robert

Kevin called me when I was out on my run. Kern knows about the heart attack.

Kitty

You're kidding.

Robert

Somebody's got my medical records. Three months ago we were telling every news organisation it was minor arrhythmia.

Kitty

Well, I don't know. What are you gonna do, Robert? Sometimes medical situations are difficult to talk about.

Robert

Come on, Kitty, you're a pundit. You know what kind of narrative they're gonna write with this. "Senator McCallister misled us with a heart attack. He's untrustworthy. Not to mention the fact that he could drop dead at any moment."

Kitty

No, no, no, don't you worry, darling. (kisses Baby Evan) Nobody's gonna be dropping dead around here any time soon.

Robert

No, not yet, but this is the kind of thing that could derail this campaign before it even starts, which is probably okay with you.

Kitty

Oh, you know what, Robert. Please don't start that.

Kitty

I have some news.

Robert

Did your mother pass away last night?

Kitty

Au contraire. I just walked in on her and Simon. In the shower. Together. Naked.

Good for her! It's a new day in Pasadena.

Robert

[About officiating Justin and Rebbecca's wedding] I was going to to start off with a joke.

Kitty

A joke. Like... I just flew in from Washington and, boy are my arms tired?

Robert

Well I was going to aim a little higher than that. But keep em coming.

Kitty

I think you should start off with a metaphor.

Robert

Love... Is like the sun on a cloudy day. Even if you don't always see it you know that it's... there.

Kitty

I think you should start off with a joke.

Robert

[laughs] See it's this. It's just sitting here together, in a waiting room. Both of us trying to pretend we're not scared, that's love. Not being able to concentrate on writing a speech about the beauty of love, because you're so scared you might lose it and nothing would ever be the same and realizing that the one place – the one place – that you feel most you, is when you are lying next to her, just breathing.

Kitty

[About getting a bone marrow transplant] What are the benefits?

If the transplant proves successful, you could be cancer free, but the risks are also higher.

Nora

Shouldn't she just try a different kind of chemo, and if that doesn't work then she could try the transplant. ?

She could, but if it proves unsuccessful again it'll lower her chances during the transplant and her immune system could fail, which would already be compromised by the chemo.

Kitty

Mom, mom, cancer free, I have a little boy at home. I wanna live. You got to do everything. I mean, you got to take us to school and you got to watch us grow up and you got to see us get married. I wanna get to do all that.

Nora

If that's what you want.

Kitty

It is. Robert?

Robert

You've always swung fences before, you've always pulled through. If this is what you want I'm with you 100%.