I let you treat me like dirt because I loved and respected your father. But I am done treating you with any measure of civility.
Is that a threat?
You bet your ass it's a threat.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[to Holly] It seems pretty simple to me, mom. You were willing to be sloppy seconds for some rich jerk with a wife and kids. And my dad didn't want to fess up to having a bastard child with his mistress because he didn't want to risk his Norman Rockwell life. Do I have it straight, mom?
I read about you.
Me?
M-hm, someone sent me a link to the 'Skinny Minnie'. Are you really dating Chad Barry?
Eh, no. Yes, yeah, oh, I... I know him.
Like Romeo knows Juliet.
Like Siegfried knows Roy.
[jokingly] Did you bring your DNA kit with you? Are you going to swab her over salad?
I could get a strand of hair.
No, that's not going to work. You have to get it from the root.
What are you, Columbo?
I watch all the crime shows.
I'll take her water glass into a lab.
No, no, that's not gonna work either. The glass will get corrupted.
Look, are you both high? You want your DNA test right here? She's hot - I feel nothing!
[to Nora] Mom, I didn't come here tonight because of Rebecca, I came here because I want things to be better with us. I need you to care about me the same way that you care about the world.
This is how you set it up?
Don't say that.
Oh, but it is. I mean, you didn't just deprive me of a father, mom, you deprived me of an entire family.
Honey, you have a family. You and me, we're family.
I could have had so much more. I could have had brothers and sisters all these years, I could have had this busy, chaotic childhood that you fantasize about as a kid. But you didn't let me.
I should have a black eye for as long as possible to remind me never to be a chivalrous ass.
I wish I was a chivalrous ass instead of being just wholly an ass.
There's something odd about this.
This what?
This town.
Oh, was the giant man-made artichoke in the town square your first clue?
No, though that was odd.
ECEmily Craft
This may be a cocktail party, but I don't know which blanket that little piggy's going to be under, if you get my drift.
I don't even know what that means.
From what I hear, Kevin's a serial dater.
No, no, no, he just, you know, no, he was just picking the wrong guys.
Please Kitty, you used the phrase, and I'm quoting here, man whore.
Okay, I never really had brothers and sisters so I don't know how big families work, um, maybe this is the normal thing to do you know, just do things in a clump, like you all get together, solve problems.
No, no, we tend to make things worse and then blame each other.
Yeah, that's pretty much how it works.
JJulia
[about the last Game Night] Was that the night Kitty threw the trophy at your head?
Yeah, that was it. 12 stitches.
No, 6. It was 6 stitches and I tossed it you.
Threw it.
And you just somehow couldn't catch it.
[Trying to set Kevin up with Jason McCallister] He's completely your type.
What, attractive and emotionally unavailable?
No, that would be you.
Connect four.
What? Where?
One, two, three four. I win.
What, whoa, what? Wait, were you distracting me? That was a set up?
Yeah.
Wow, great strategy. Wait till you're old enough for game night.
Listen to me. I have had a front-row seat to that family for years. I know what it feels like to be an outsider, how enticing they can be. But whatever you think you want from them, trust me, you are not going to get it this way.
Excuse me?
I know you, Rebecca. And I am guessing that Joe did not just come on to you out of the blue.
Just because you're a whore doesn't mean that I am.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Brothers & Sisters pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.