[Walter enters Tuco's office, as he examines a sample of the pound of meth Walter brought with him]
Heisenberg. Okay. Have a seat, Heisenberg.
I don't imagine I'll be here very long.
No? Alright, be that way. It's your meeting. Why don't you start talking and tell me what you want?
[laughs] Oh, man! Fifty G's? How you figure that?
Thirty-five for the pound of meth you stole and another fifteen for my partner's pain and suffering.
Partner? [puts a cigarette out on his tongue] Oh, yeah! I remember that little bitch! So you must be daddy. [bursts out laughing] Let me get this straight: I steal your dope, I beat the piss out of your mule boy, and then you walk in here, and you bring me more meth?! [laughs hysterically] Woo! That's a brilliant plan, esé.
You got one part of that wrong. [reaches out and picks up the crystal Tuco had examined] This... is not meth.
[Walter throws the piece to the floor. The impact causes a tremendous explosion which knocks everyone off their feet and blows out all the windows in Tuco's office. Walter grabs the bag in the midst of the smoke.]
[holding the bag threateningly over his head] You wanna find out?
[Tuco's men get to their feet and draw their guns]
No-Doze, Gonzo, calma! Calma. Calma. You got balls, I'll give you that. Alright... alright. I'll give you your money.
[Tuco opens his safe and hands Walter a sack filled with $50,000.]
That crystal your partner brought me, it sold faster than $10 ass in T.J. What say you bring me another pound next week?
Alright. Money up front. Sometimes you got to rob to keep your riches, just as long as we got an understanding.
One pound is not going to cut it. You have to take two.
Orale. [points to Walter's bag] Hey, what is that shit?
Fulminated mercury, and a little tweak of chemistry.
[Walter and Jesse are meeting Tuco at a junkyard]
A junkyard? Let me guess, you picked this place?
What's wrong with it? It's private.
This is... This is like a... a non-criminal's idea of a drug meet. This is like, "Oh, I saw this in a movie. Ooh, look at me."
Yeah, so... so where do you transact business? Enlighten me.
I don't know. How about Taco Cabeza? Half the deals I've ever done went down at Taco Cabeza. Nice and public. Open twenty-four hours. Nobody ever gets shot at Taco Cabeza. Hell, why not the mall? You know, wait at the Gap. "Hey! It's time for the meet!" You know, I'll put down the flat-front khakis, head on over, grab an Orange Julius. Skip the part where psycho lunatic Tuco, you know, comes and steals my drugs and leaves me bleeding to death.
[Tuco pulls up in his Escalade. Jesse fidgets]
Look, you don't have to be here for this, okay? I mean, seriously. I'm okay.
Nah, I'm no pussy. I'm good.
[Tuco and his henchmen get out]
Mr. Clean and his boy. [to Jesse] Now, I'm sorry I had to tune you up. Respect, ese. You gotta give it to get it. [looks around] Hey, what are we doing way the hell out here? What, they close the mall or something? [Jesse glances at Walter] Heisenberg, come on, break it out. [Walter takes out a bag of meth] That's it? That's all you got?
We had some production problems.
NDNo-Doze
[weighing the meth] Point five three.
I thought you was a player. You told me two pounds, and now you waste my time with these chiclets? [tosses Walter his money] Seventeen-and-a-half, minus the half for wasting my time.
What?! You gonna argue?! You got something to say?! [pause] You're doing business like a couple little bitches.
I want all of it. [everyone stares at him] Seventy grand.
You like this product, and you want more. Consider it a capital investment.
[gets in Walt's face] Look, old bald motherfucker. Fifty-two and a half, 25 points vig.
[Tuco looks at Jesse]
...Okay. That's $65,625 with interest. 1.875 pounds.
No. Two pounds. Next Friday, and no production problems.
Can you handle four pounds?
[Tuco and Jesse look at Walter in disbelief]
Listen, old man. Talk is talk, but owing me money... that's bad.
[Smoking some illicit Cuban cigars]
It's funny, isn't it? How we draw that line.
Well, what's legal, what's illegal. You know, Cuban cigars, alcohol. You know, if we were drinking this in 1930, we'd be breaking the law. Another year, we'd be okay. Who knows what will be legal next year.
Yeah. Like pot. Or whatever.
I'm just saying it's arbitrary.
Well, you ought to visit lockup. You hear a lot of guys talking like that. "Hey, man, what you busting me with these 14 bales of ganja? It's all going to be legal next year when Willie Nelson's president." Say it, buddy. It don't only go one way either. I mean, some other stuff is legal that shouldn't be. I mean, frigging meth used to be legal. Used to sell it over every counter at every pharmacy across America. Thank God they came to their senses on that one, huh?
No, not really. Heh, actually not at all. You know that, uh, tiara that Marie gave us?
Well, she stole it. Yep, I practically got arrested trying to return it at the store.
I mean, she refuses to admit it. She refuses to apologize. I–I don't know what to do.
Hm... people sometimes do things for their families.
"People sometimes do things for their families"? And, what, that justifies stealing?
Wow, that must have been some sweat lodge. Are you even listening to the words coming out of your mouth?
What would you do if it were me?
What do you mean, "if it were you"?
If it were me, what would you do? Would you divorce me, would you turn me in to the police?
You don't want to find out.
[Walter and Jesse meet Tuco and his men at the junkyard with their new meth]
What is this shit? This is blue.
We used a different chemical process, but it is every bit as pure.
It may be blue, but it's the bomb.
[snorts meth] Tight! Tight, tight, yeah! Oh, blue, yellow, pink, whatever, man! Just keep bringing me that! [he hands the bag of meth to No Doze, and gives Walter a bag of cash]
NDNo-Doze
[weighing the bag of meth] Four point six.
[working out the value of the excess in his head] Uh… Come on. [Gonzo gives two more clips of money to Walter and Jesse] What did I say, man? This guy can cook! You're alright, man. You're alright. We're going to make a lot of money together.
NDNo-Doze
[with a lot of attitude] Just remember who you're working for.
[angered, he turns and faces him] What did you say?
NDNo-Doze
I'm just saying they got to know that they're working for you.
Like they don't already know that? Are you saying they're stupid?
NDNo-Doze
No, I'm just...I'm just saying.
Oh yeah, so you're not saying they're stupid. So I don't understand. Are you saying that I'm stupid?
NDNo-Doze
No, come on, Tuco. I'm just... I'm just saying.
No, you're just speaking for me! Like I ain't got the GODDAMN SENSE TO SPEAK FOR MYSELF! Is that it? Is that what you're doing?
Tuco. Tuco, hey, why don't we just all relax, huh?
[laughs] Heisenberg says "relax". Orale, homes. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed-
[Tuco punches No-Doze in the face. Tuco proceeds to punch him over and over while he is on the ground, leaving him bloody and possibly dead]
[showing off his bloody knuckles] WOOO! Damn, man! Look at that! Look! Yeah, that's messed up. [inhales] Okay, Heisenberg! Next week. [chuckles]
[Tuco and Gonzo drive off with No-Doze's bloody body. Walter and Jesse look at each other in horror]
