Dick Head quotes from Bottom

Dick Head

(on the phone) Hello, "Skullcrusher" Henderson? Yeah it's er, Dick Head here... no, don't laugh. I have in my possession a very rare and extraordinarily pornographic £27 note, which may be of interest to a man in your position. What? Oh well it's Sylvester Stallone... fisting what looks like Mr. MacHenry from The Magic Roundabout.

Dick Head

So, Eddie...

Uh-uh, my name is... Deirdre Barlow.

Spudgun

So's mine

Mine too.

(pointing to Richie) And his.

Dick Head

Well, Deirdres, Skullcrusher is very, very angry with you.

Should we send him some flowers?

Dick Head

No, I'm afraid it's beyond flowers. [Richie gulps] Basically, he says that unless you stop printing, and come up with five grand by closing time tonight, he's gonna come around and crush your skulls.

Is that bad?

And... that's why they call him the Skullcrusher...

Dick Head

Exactly! So, until tonight, gentlemen.

I think I'd better go to the lavvy.

Me too.

Spudgun

And me!

I've just been.

Dick Head

Right, next question; which is the greater, two dozen or a score?

[Pressing the buzzer with confidence] Daffodils!

Dick Head

Wrong.

It bloody is.

Dick Head

No, it isn't!

Are you calling me a liar?

Dick Head

No, I'm calling you a tosser.

Well that's ok, then.