Bones · Season 3
Megan Shaw is still alive.
What do you want me to do?
He wants us to guess.
Well, my guess is Hawaii.
Not Hawaii.
W-Well, guess again, but better.
Nop, sorry.
Booth, THEY don't guess.
Who's they?
[pointing at Brennan, Zack and Hodgins] THEM!
Well, that's just stupid
We do not guess.
You know what? You're a horse's ass!
[referring to his Halloween's costume] Cow! I'm a cow! See my udder?
Here's what Mr. Barasa said, 100% verbatim, word for word.
"Verbatim" means word for word.
What?
You sort of said it twice.
Is that your costume?
Uh, yeah.
It's sexually alluring.
Thank you, I'm Catwoman. [Brennan looks at her blankly] The superhero.
Oh!
One of the most powerful female superhero figures.
I don't think so.
Are you kidding? Catwoman?
Can you fly?
I have nine lives.
Super strength, super speed, force people to tell the truth?
I think I'm pretty fast.
Pretty fast is not super speed.
[to Zack and Hodgins] Who's stronger? Catwoman or Wonder Woman?
[together spontaneously] Wonder Woman.
I concur, vehemently!
It's a Halloween party. We could be Wonder Woman and -- what's Superman's secret identity?
Clark Kent.
Yes. We could be Wonder Woman and Clark Kent after a really, really bad date.
Yeah, bad date because you shot me.
It was only a flesh wound. And you dropped me on my head.
After you shot me, okay? I think I got you on this one. Okay, Wonder Woman?
[Booth is confronted by the serial killer Pete Geller, who is dressed as a clown, while Brennan tries to escape with the victim. Geller shoots at Brennan but misses and ducks behind a metal board to avoid Booth.]
One shot. [Geller is obscured from Booth's view. Booth shoots Geller and kills him with a single shot] One hell of a shot. [Brennan emerges with the victim.] Now can you see why I hate clowns?
Would it be insensitive to mention that my father's sixtieth birthday is coming up?
Sixty already? Wow.
Uh-huh. We're having a big birthday dinner for him on Thursday night.
All right. You give him my best.
You can do it yourself. You have to come with me.
What? No. Not your family.
I can't spend the night defending the fact that I still live alone to my family.
You never told them we broke up?
You want to make a man miserable on his sixtieth birthday?
You want me to pretend that I'm your boyfriend?
Yes, between 6:30 and 10 on Thursday.
Ugh. Camille, you're an adult. You can't live your life afraid of what your family thinks.
Seeley, it's not going to be like this forever. (brightly) One day he'll die!
Look, we are not looking for Gorgonzola today!
Gormogon. Gor-Mo-Gon.
Why am I talking to you?
What time did you leave the Jeffersonian that night?
Shortly after 11. Dr. Brennan, surely I merit someone higher up on the food chain than an FBI consultant.
Kyle, I know you get everything you want by flaunting your superior intellect. But that won't work with me.
Why is that?
Because I'm smarter than you are.
I know your password too. It's daffodil.
I never told you that!
What, I got eyes! I mean, you guys aren't exactly CIA material.
Daffodil?
What, they're pretty. And I'm changing my password.
Daisy.
How did you know?
It's your second-favorite flower. I know you, Bones. Try a planet! [Bones enters another password] Jupiter! [Brennan looks shocked]
Why didn't you tell me you guys split up?
You want him? Take him. I don't care.
I don't want him.
You don't?
[to Cam] No. I was just trying to get back at you for being so perfect all the time.
So you admit it.
Like you're a saint? [to Booth] She used to go into my closet with all my dolls and say that they were having a party, but that I wasn't invited.
You were five, and they did not like you.
I never liked Kyle Aldridge.
He told me once that having a high IQ was no excuse not to bathe.
I don't believe it.
No, those were his exact words, no excuse not to bathe.
[Hodgins walks in and finds Booth hanging around his lab area]
[curiously] Why are you here in my area?
Cam's sister kissed me.
[amused] Dude....
Don't call me dude! All right, listen, I was supposed to be Cam's boyfriend but only between the hours of 6:30 and 10. She kissed me at 6:20 so technically that doesn't even count. Cam went to her office to get something. Felicia, she just grabbed me and planted one on me. I didn't even see it coming. I didn't even have a defense maneuver planned.
[shakes head] Wow.... all right, all right, uh.... How are you...[looks around discreetly] how are you gonna break it to Cam?
What? Why would I do that?
You want her to find out from her sister?
[in dread] Wow, this is worse than when we were a couple.
[chuckles, Booth glares at him] Sorry... [struggles to contain his laughter]
[unamused by Hodgins laughing at him] I really should take my gun out and shoot you now.
[puts on a serious face] I'm sorry... that's serious. [breaks into laughter again]
You're not helping.
I had a Michael Jackson glove. I've never mentioned that before.
I loved Chevy Chase. We all have our crosses to bear.
This is crazy. It's -- it's not right. Tell him that it's not right.
Is it?
Oh! You're on his side. Why don't you go play Voltron with him?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
