Perhaps you could use these: there's a portion of tongue, hair, and brain matter.
Okay, if anybody needs me, I'm going to go throw up, then do some paperwork.
S3 E2Soccer Mom in the Mini-Van
SSam
You know Booth she must be really good in bed because I can't see any other reason you'd keep her around here.
I am. Very good. But Booth has no direct knowledge of that fact.
S3 E3The Death in the Saddle
[Brennan confronts a fleeing suspect]
Stop, or I'll kick you in the testicles!
Hey.
Hay, is for horses...
[laughs slightly] That's funny Bones.
I found it on this website about horses.
Yeah?
Where do horses stay in a hotel?
The bridle suite.
That's correct. How did you know the answer to the bridle suite joke?
I have a five-year-old son.
I know about this hypnotism thing. I was a magician's assistant at a little gypsy carnival in Brazil.
Now that's an opening line.
Ugh. Mysterio was really cute, and I was younger then, and... the whole being sawed in half thing was actually kinda hot.
[about sex games] It's wrong. It says so in the Bible.
It does not.
Then it was left out by mistake.
Here we are, all of us, basically alone, separate creatures just circling each other, all searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places. Some, they just give up hope because in their mind, they're thinking "Oh, there's nobody out there for me." But all of us, we keep trying, over and over again. Why? Because, every once in a while... every once in a while, two people meet, and there's that spark. And yes, Bones, he's handsome, and she's beautiful, and maybe that's all they see at first. But making love... making love... that's when two people become one.
It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
Yeah, but what's important is we try. And when we do it right, we get close.
To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
Yeah, Bones. A miracle... Those people -- role-playing, and their fetishes, and their little sex games. It's crappy sex, at least compared to the real thing.
You're right
Yeah, but I ...[laughing] Oh, wait a second. I just won that argument?
Yep.
[about Angela] She's going deep into her sub-conscious to remember her husband's name, so we can find him, divorce him, get married ourselves and live happily for all eternity.
You won't live for eternity.
TTom
Why did you throw me into the wall?
Why did you run?
TTom
Well, you're FBI.
[sarcastically] Well, I'll need a little bit more than that.
S3 E4The Secret in the Soil
[finding a rare insect] Hello, my exotic princess!
What a charmingly inappropriate greeting, Dr. Hodgins.
I think he was talking to the bug.
Well, now I feel a bit... rejected.
"He who smelt it, dealt it."
How do you even know that phrase?
Okay, stop. You don't know Booth. You don't know me. You have a limited view of us based on superficial data you've accumulated on a standardized questionnaire and a subjective analysis from talking to us that is not at all scientific. So back off.
Just trying to help.
By questioning his humanity?
Okay, Bones, now you're going a little bit overboard. He's just a kid, right? I mean, the worst thing that's probably ever happened to him was he lost at Mortal Kombat.
Are you normally this protective of him, Dr. Brennan?
We're partners. Our lives depend on being protective of each other.
And you feel the same way, Agent Booth?
Sweets, I can only hope that one day you know what a real partnership is.
You have a very deep connection to each other. That was obvious, even from my superficial observations and standardized questionnaire. You complement each other.
No, she never compliments me. Did you compliment me in the questionnaire?
"Complement," not "compliment." "Ple." He means that we complete each other... uh... as a team.
Yeah, right.
I'm sensing a but.
However...
Same as a but...
[doggedly continuing] I have observed some underlying issues that need to be addressed.
Issues?
Yes, there's clearly a very deep emotional attachment between you two.
We're just partners.
And why do you think I would have thought otherwise?
'Cause you're 12.
Don't read into anything that Booth said. We're professionals. There's a line that doesn't even need to be there.
Not at all. I mean, if there were no more murders, I would probably not even see her.
That's very true.
We might have coffee.
Probably not.
What, you wouldn't even have coffee with me? [He's obviously hurt, Sweets is temporarily forgotten as he and Brennan lean towards each other to finish the conversation.]
Well, in your scenario, we wouldn't even know each other, because there are no murders.
Were, I said, no more murders.
Then fine, we could have coffee. So that's the extent of our relationship, coffee?
[Solid, now that he and Brennan have talked.] So, let's move on, Sweets.
[Nods, but there's a tiny smile on his face from watching Booth and Brennan talk.]
S3 E5The Mummy in the Maze
I will be the back end of a cow.
So, no costume.
Naomi from Paleontology has agreed to be my front.
So many jokes, so little time.
And get him to sign the divorce papers.
PIPrivate Investigator
By "get him," do you mean force him to sign them?
If necessary. Do you have a gun?
Or just remind him of who I am and ask him politely.
What are you, Canadian?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.