Right now I'm worried about a safe distance between you and me.
Why? Because we're going to a church, and you tend to get blasphemous in churches.
You're afraid if God smites me with lightning you could get hit?
Yeah, I'm usually standing right beside you.
The Greek god Zeus also used lightning to incinerate his enemies, although Zeus apparently had better aim than your god.
Exactly. Stuff like that. Just don't say stuff like that.
Are you asking me to do an experiment?
Why are you saying his name like that?
Arastooooo. You're chewing on his name.
Arastoo said that he looks at the devil every day.
Maybe he has low self-esteem.
Or -- you know what they call us, right?
Muslims. Some Muslims. The ones over there trying to kill us.
Yeah, they call us the great Satan. Oh.
[walks in] Look here, what I found. Radiating microfractures in the cartilage of the victim's vestigial tail.
Radiating microfractures plus a ruptured intestine?
He was slammed into something.
Perhaps, in fact, he did wrestle with an archangel and lose. As it should be. The devil lost, as he always must.
What if Arastoo means us?
Arastoo is a very sweet, gentle guy, you know?
I know, but maybe in his heart he looks down on us! Do you want to work with someone who thinks you're the great Satan?
No! I don't want to be the great Satan. I don't even want to be a minor demon.
[After Aristoo demonstrates his great proficiency with nunchucks] What are you...some kind of Persian ninja?!
You have faith that you will retain your faith? Why?
Because, Bones. The sun will come up and tomorrow is a new day.
You know what it feels like to get your faith back?
When I see effects and I am unable to discern a cause, my faith in reason and consequences is shaken.
Two plus two equals four. I put sugar in my coffee and it tastes sweet. The sun comes up because the world turns. These things are beautiful to me. There are mysteries I will never understand, but everywhere I look I see proof that for every effect there is a corresponding cause. Even if I can't see it. I find that reassuring.
C Dr. Copeland
I've listened to you take shots at my profession, and that's okay. I'm a big boy, a tolerant man, but I want you to think about something. I spend every working hour of every day trying to help people who are living in Hell. That's an honorable way to spend a life. Perhaps more honorable than figuring out what happened to dead people who are already beyond pain and suffering.
Intentions, however misguided, do count. I understand that.
C Dr. Copeland
I hope you won't think I'm too picky when I point out that that wasn't an actual apology. But perhaps it's the best you can manage.
The accelerant was common motor oil, available at any gas station.
Well, at least it wasn't brimstone, available only from Hell.
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