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SEASON 1

BoJack Horseman · Season 1

BoJack Horseman Season 1 quotes

115 quotes · page 6 of 8

S1 E15Unfinished Business

[convincing Tenisha in the bathroom] Nobody completes anybody. That's not a real thing. If you're lucky enough to find someone you can halfway tolerate, you sink your nails in and you don't let go. No matter what.

TTenisha

So what? I should just... settle?

Yes. Thank you. Exactly. Settle. Because otherwise you are just going to get older, and harder, and more alone. And you're going to do everything you can to fill that hole, with friends, and your career, and meaningless sex. But the hole doesn't get filled. And one day, you're gonna look around and you're gonna realize, that everybody loves you...but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.

[after falling down and breaking her wrist] Ow! Drugs, I thought we were friends!

[Excerpt of Get Dat Fetus Kill Dat Fetus seen in episode]

I'm a baby killer

Baby killing makes me horny

Alien's inside me

I'm gonna squash it like Sigourney

GIGirl in waiting room

Sextina's music makes me feel strong, like I can do anything.

It doesn't offend you? What about the part where she says, "I hope and pray to God my little fetus has a soul / 'cause I want it to feel pain when I eject it from my hole"?

GGirl

It's a joke. You get that it's a joke, right?

Well, obviously.

GGirl

Do you think she actually wants to shoot her fetus with a gun?

CThe closer

There is something intimate about watching a person be herself...

VGVanessa Gekko

What's that I hear? Beep, beep. Someone's calling on the other line. That's strange. Hello? Oh, it's Oodles of Money calling. Will we accept the charges?

RRutabaga

Why would Oodles of Money be calling collect?

VGVanessa Gekko

I don't know but do not accept the charges. We cannot afford it.

Hold on. if this is a real thing, why would he call you and not me?

SLSara Lynn

Who knows? Why do people do anything? Why did I make the cartoon tree grandma from Pocahontas my emergency contact?

PCaptain Peanutbutter

Look at those children. Little miracles, right?

They're adorable. Not that I value them based on their looks! Because, of course, children in society today are often reduced to their cuteness. I can't wait to get to know your children as people, so I can specifically compliment them individually on the foundation of their characters.

He's probably just razzin' ya. But he's a good dog. All bark, no bite. Oh, sorry! That's a labrador expression. I guess in human terms it would be: he's all talk, no shooting you with an assault rifle.

Is that what you think humans do?

Am I wrong?

You gotta get me out of this thing. This asshole is giving me everything I ask for. What a nightmare.

Are you just gonna do stupid bullshit for the rest of your life?

You mean like for work or, like, in general?

PCaptain Peanutbutter

Diane, do you ever look up at the stars and feel like they're tiny holes in the sky, sucking out all the oxygen and suddenly you can't breathe because you're thinking about how small you are and meaningless it all is?

Uh... I guess?

I do love you by the way, I mean as much as I'm capable of loving anyone, which is never enough.

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