TV show quotes
[injured] We've fought many battles, haven't we, Captain?
We have.
And I've been a good adversary for you, have I not? Then please... end it. Please.
Killing in cold blood is against Space Fleet code. [mockingly, as Valdack whimpers] I wish I could help. Sorry, bud.
[Daly tries to forcibly kiss Cole while the crew sings "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow", and she slaps him]
"And so say--" Oh, my fuck...!
[after holding his face for a moment] That wasn't very nice. [holds up his hand again, much to Cole's terror, then lowers it] Today I will show you mercy.
Great mercy-showing, Captain.
Shh!
Tomorrow you should reconsider your... amenability. I may not be feeling so benevolent. Exit game. [vanishes]
Oh, fucking hell...!
This was tense. [glancing pointedly at Cole] I don't like tense.
Drink?
Mm-hmm.
[After the revelation that Daly has not given any of the digital clones genitalia]
Okay. Stealing my pussy is a red fucking line!
I tried the carrot, now meet the stick.
No, no, this is gonna make you happy, Daly, 'cause you're sick... and you need help.
[Undeterred, Daly lifts his hand; Lowry hurries in front of Cole]
No, don't, don't! [nervously] Captain... Captain, please. Okay, look, she's new. She'll behave. We'll all behave. Just... let her off. Let her off this once. Please...
[Daly considers for a moment, then lowers his hand]
Okay.
[Lowry gasps with relief and turns to comfort Cole, but Daly suddenly raises his hand again, and Lowry spasms in pain, her bones crackling]
NO! DALY, NO! No, no, no, no...!
[Lowry is forcibly transformed into an Arachnajax, much to the crew's horror]
[to Cole, with smug satisfaction] You know what makes me happy? The look on your face right now. Dudani, Walton, Tulaska, take this thing to the brig with Valdack. Packer, find a barren planet we can dump her on. [to a sobbing Cole] And you... can just stay here and think about your attitude. Exit game. [vanishes]
Why won't you fight back?
Tommy.
Who is Tommy?
He's my son. He's six years old, at least he was when I woke up in here. See, in the early days of this ship, it was just me and Daly. I was his pet project. He tried everything to break me, and I withstood it all 'cause I just thought there was still a chance I could get out and see my boy again. In a way, I was right, I did get to see him again. Just not the real him. Daly told me what happened. Back on the outside, the real me, uh brought Tommy to work one day, showed him around. He would've loved seeing all those computers. He's really into that stuff. Anyway, evidently Tommy had a lollipop that day. That's all Daly needed. He copied him in here. It was Tommy all right. He was alike in every way. You know what he did to him? He took Tommy and he threw him out of the airlock. Right out into space. And he made me watch. Have you ever seen an unsuited body compress in space? They freeze and crack like a porcelain doll. I take my hat off to Daly. The detail in this place is exceptional. And he said he'd do it again and again, 'cause Daly's still got Tommy's DNA. He's got all of our DNA. He keeps it in his bedroom in a fucking mini fridge by his desk. So I have to stay in line, because even if we die in here, he can bring us back. He can bring Tommy back whenever he wants. And God knows how he'd take it out on him. God knows what he'd do. So, you see, what choice do I have?
If you thought what happened to you in the past was bad, that was nothing! What I'm going to do to you is going to be goddamn fucking biblical! I'm literally going to turn your insides out, but I'll keep you alive in tiny little jars! And there you'll stay until I'm bored of you--
Why are we listening to this?
Yeah, fuck him! [turns off intercom]
Hey, Robert.
God, so help me, you are going to regret all of this so hard!
Bob, I wanna talk to you here! I was thinking I should say sorry.
Go on.
You created Infinity. You're a fucking genius. I exploited that. I treated you like a golden goose and I got fat on the profits, figuratively speaking. And I was thinking I should have appreciated you more, you know? I should have treated you better. Yeah, yeah, I was thinking I should say all that. But you threw my son out of an airlock, so fuck you to death!
[As his game build is deleted around him, leaving his virtual self trapped while his real body dies]
[repeatedly, hysterically] EXIT FUCKING GAME!
Oh, man, are we glad to hear from-
Yeah, Merry Christmas. So are we gonna blow each other or are we gonna trade?
Oh Hmm.
Hello? Do you have anything to trade at all?
No, uh -
[sighs] So why did you respond? OK, just get the hell out of my quadrant or I'll blast you to shit. You've got ten seconds. Ten...
Oh, well, do try. We'll photon-bolt you up the perineum, you stupid little boy.
Scary... Nine...
Well I learned what it's like to co-habit with someone I despise, is that useful for the system?
Everything happens for a reason.
[After Rolo Haynes persuades Dr. Peter Dawson to have a neural implant installed]
There's something kinda kinky about it. It's like the ultimate piercing.
[About Dawson's sadomasochism as a result of the neural implant Haynes gave him]
See, it's like eating chilies. You acclimatize fast. First time you had a jalapeno, bet you spat it out, too hot. But persevere and it becomes addictive. Soon, a jalapeno's not enough. You work your way up: red-hot chilies, bird's-eye chilies, till you get to them Scotch bonnet devils. Dawson's craving was just the same. Before you know it, he's hanging around the ER just waiting for a juicy accident victim to latch onto. All he can think about is that next hit gnawing away up there. "Give it back to me! Give it back! I gotta have it back!"
[Dawson is shown engaging in self-mutilation]
Dawson was home alone 24/7, climbing the walls. Withdrawal, I guess. He didn't have patients to leech pain off anymore. So he started inflicting it... on himself. Spent a week just whittling away at himself. Cut here, a gouge there. I mean, the guy was a doctor. He knew how far he could go without it getting fatal. But it was never enough. None of it was enough. When he worked on himself, there was a crucial ingredient missing: fear. The amygdala - little almond-shaped nubbin in your brain. When you're afraid, it lights up like a midnight airstrike, sharpens the senses. The fear the patient feels when they're staring up at that ceiling light, the fear accompanying each sudden jab of agony - he'd come to appreciate that, too. It went with the pain. Complemented it, like red wine and steak. You can inflict pain on yourself, but not terror. For that... you need a volunteer.
[Dawson forces a homeless man into the hairnet device and murders him with a drill, feeling the sensations through his implant as a police car drives up]
Dawson was practically coming when they found him. He'd enjoyed one big old speedball of fear and pain and death.
Tell me they put him in jail.
In the hospital. He wound up in a vegetative state.
Good.
Still there, to this day. In a coma, deep as the ocean. But the thing of it is, they say he still has that look on his face. Blissed out. Still riding that high.
[Dawson is shown lying in a hospital bed, with a huge erection under the bedsheets]
You're fucking with me, right? [scoffs]
Okay, I added the boner. I couldn't resist. Fun story, huh?
Yep, fun story.
[After Haynes convinces Jack to have his dead wife Carrie's consciousness implanted in his brain, she becomes jealous about him being attracted to other women]
So now we're just openly checking out women's racks? And don't say you weren't, because I can feel the fucking boner forming, okay? And he checks her ass too as she leaves, holy fuck.
[annoyed] So I checked her out. What? I'm horny as fuck, haven't jerked off in, like, a month.
Well, I'm not stopping you.
You're looking over my shoulder, but from the inside. It's like trying to jerk off in front of a cop who's also your mom.
Fuck you!
Having a backseat driver glued into the back seat ain't no fun for anyone in the car. No privacy for him, no agency for her.
It'd drive you mental.
[with a hint of glee] Exactly!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Black Mirror pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
