Manny quotes from Black Books

Manny

I am a loose lily drifting down an amber river

Manny

Add a drop of lavender to your bath and soon, you will soak yourself calm.

Manny

[To skinheads] Have you ever noticed a calm person with a loud voice?

Manny

[Concussed, confusing his calming tips] Add a dab of lavender to your milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

Manny

No.

Manny

Right now I'm eating scrambled eggs, with a comb, from a shoe!

Manny

[Pretending to talk on the police station telephone, being watched by a policeman] Uh, yeah, hello...Raiders! You'd...just...better...watch it! Or I'll be down your manor with all the other policemen! And we'll arrest your arse! [timidly] Bye!

Manny

You have... beautiful eyes.

Manny

I ate all your bees.

Manny

I did it! I got the queen!

Manny

[to Bernard] Would you like some beetroot liqueur? You can have it. You can have the whole bottle. Really, I mean it, you can have..nearly all of it...Go on, go ahead...WHOAA Don't go mad.

Bernard

What do they want from me? Why can't they leave me alone? I mean, what do they want from me?

Manny

They want to buy books.

Bernard

Yeah, but why me? Why do they come to me?

Manny

Well, because you sell books.

Bernard

Yeah, I know but...

Manny

[reading Bernard's blackboard of shop rules] No mobiles, no... wigwams?.

Bernard

Walkmans!

Manny

[reading] No snoity... car... snoi-- This is indecipherable!

Bernard

Look, it is perfectly simple. [walks over to board and points out rules as he recites them] No mobiles! No walkmans! [points at rule number three and pauses] None of that! Or any of the others!

Manny

[squinting] ...Singe, bugger, cack.

Bernard

Signed, Bernard L. Black!

Manny

Oh. What's the L stand for?

Bernard

Ludwig. You know, Beethoven.

Manny

So, why did your parents decide to name you... ?

Bernard

[glares suspiciously at Manny at the mention of "parents"; puts up a face which reminds of Ludwig van Beethoven] What?!

Manny

[brief pause] Never mind.

Bernard

No one is willing to admit that wine doesn't actually have a taste.

Manny

But you can't taste anything, you smoke eighty bajillion cigarettes a day. What's that?

Bernard

What?

Manny

What's that you're eating?

Bernard

It's some sort of delicious biscuit.

Manny

It's a coaster.

Bernard

Is it? Are there any more?

Manny

You think I should wash my beard?

Bernard

Yes, I think you should wash it. Then you should shave it off, nail it to a frisbee, and fling it over a rainbow.