Nicki Grant quotes from Big Love

Nicki

[to Barb, about Margie and Bill having loud sex] Can you believe it? It's like a train whistle!

Nicki

[to Margie] Poor Joey and Wanda. They're all they've got. No other spouses to lean on. How are they going to make it through this crisis with only each other?

Nicki

If someone needs a letter to validate their faith, what does that say about their faith?

Nicki

I'm a different person now and I won't go back to being small.

Nicki

[about Margene] I've given up. I've tried everything and my actual sympathy is wearing thin.

Nicki

[to Barb] Right now I'd like to punch you in your face.

Nicki

[to Cara Lynn] Stop talking about love. People like you don't deserve love.

[about the size of the guest list for Wayne's birthday party] Are you crazy?! How many people?!

Nicki

Just immediate family!... [pause] 153.

Margie

[half asleep] Where's Nicki?

Bill

What??

Margie

It's Nicki's night. You gotta go.

Nicki

Honey, what are you doing here?

Bill

It's our night!

Nicki

It was. Didn't you get my message? See the Post-It?

Bill

Post-It?

Nicki

I traded with Barb.

Nicki

[about Bill] He's been so happy! And he saw me in the car and pretended he didn't see me. And then he gave us flowers to throw me off the trail. I mean, don't you see? Do you see it?

Wanda

You don't think he's...?

Nicki

He is, yes! He is seeing a fourth wife. This is exactly what he did when he got interested in Margene. Honestly, I knew even before I knew, you know?

Wanda

It's so easy to see through them. They're kind of cute that way.

Nicki

You're the weak link, Margie.

Margie

What?

Nicki

We have to be realistic. You can't keep a secret like me and you're not a good liar like Barb.

Barb

[alarmed] What do you mean I'm a good liar?

Nicki

With the neighbors. You're so effortless; you're pro.

Nicki

[thinking about baby names] What do you think of the name Noel?

Bill

I think it says "Kick me and take my lunch money."

Nicki

[about Barb] Do you think she's happy for me? About the baby?

Margie

Of course. She loves babies. Sometimes I think she wishes my boys were hers.

Nicki

Sometimes I think they wish the same thing.

Wanda

[to Barb, about Frank] I wouldn't let him in your house if I were you. He makes Joey crazy, Bill hates him, and he doesn't pee in the toilet.

Nicki

Bill's not very good about lifting the seat either.

Wanda

No, Nicki. He pees in the sink.

Nicki

I love you, Bill.

Bill

I love you, too.

Nicki

How much?

Bill

I say it's astronomical, beyond all measure.

Nicki

I have $58,000 in debt.