Big Love quotes

53 total quotes

All Seasons
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Adaleen: [to 10-year-old girl] OK, here's how it goes; it's complicated, so try to follow along. I'm 32nd of 56 children, and when I married Roman I became my own step-grandma, because my father married Roman's daughter, Baylene. [conversation continues off screen] So, little Josie, that makes you my step-grandma, and I'm your stepmom. And when I had Alby he became my great-uncle and I became his great-great-grandmother. Which of course makes me my own grandmother.

Adaleen: [to Bill, about Nicki] I would never, ever tell you how to run your affairs--she's your wife--but she's always needed a firm hand. She takes well to a good smacking. You too, Barb--just give her a nice little swat!

Adaleen: [to Rhonda] The competition is over. Of course I found out. What kind of sister-wife do you take me for? Get in. Your little Roman holiday is over.

Barb: [about sneaking sex] We can't keep doing what we're doing.
Bill: But I need you.
Barb: You have me.

Barb: [to Nicki and Margie] We're never too far apart when we're holding hands.

Barb: [to Peg] I don't like the sneaking around. [pause] Actually, I love the sneaking around; it is so exciting.

Barb: I do not want the kids to go to the compound!
Nicki: All the kids or just your kids?
Barb: Any kids and certainly not mine. And mine include yours!

Barb: I'm having an affair.
Peg: With who?
Barb: Bill.
Peg: Your husband Bill?

Barb: Who's that?
Bill: Just Nicki.
Barb: Oh. What'd she want?
Bill: No, nothing. [pause] She's ovulating.

Ben: How do you know if God's talking to you or if you're just talking to yourself?
Bill: That's one of the most important challenges in life.

Ben: I think about sex all the time!
Brynn: But that's good.
Ben: No, I can't control it. I get hard-ons in woodshop!

Bili: [about the size of the guest list for Wayne's birthday party] Are you crazy?! How many people?!
Nicki: Just immediate family!... [pause] 153.

Bill: [about his father] He's gotta get to a doctor.
Lois: No! Remember when he got his fingers caught in the fan? You said doctors and he was fine!
Bill: He needed 23 stitches!

Bill: [seeing his father lying on the floor] Oh good lord!
Lois: He's better today. He's gonna be fine. I don't know why everyone's so up in arms.
Frank: [hoarsely] Don't let me die.

Bill: [to Ben, instructing him for the hunting trip] Hey, remember tomorrow: no deodorant, no soap, no mouthwash.
Sarah: [chuckles] Like you really have to tell him that.