(bringing in protein shakes) Will it be one straw or two for dinner this evening?
Sorry, Alfred. I kind of promised Jason I'd let him make dinner for me tonight. I just hope the nerd can cook.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You might consider taking it a little easier on her.
I might, but I won't.
Why don't you go get yourself a donut, Dombrowski?
DOfficer Dunbrowski
Nah, the wife says I got to cut back.
Then only get a half-dozen this time.
DOfficer Dombrowski
Hey. Yeah!
(Batman appears next to Gordon, who flinches)
Even when I know you're coming, I still can't get used to that!
It's kind of nice having someone cook for me. At least something that's not made in a blender.
JBJason Burr
Huh?
Nothing. Cooking's just not really my strong suit.
JBJason Burr
Oh, no problem. I'm totally comfortable being the woman of the house. I mean, you know, the one who cooks.
You should stop talking now.
JBJason Burr
Heard that. Yep!
CCypher
Take out your handcuffs!
Rail or pipe?
CCypher
Surprise me.
Autopilot.
Engaged. The probability of successfully accomplishing this mission is less than 8%, Batman.
Then you'd better wish me luck.
Good luck, Batman.
Thanks.
You dare bargain with the League of Assassins? Are you mad?
Without question.
And who's this? A new pet?
Why don't you come down here in person so we can meet foot to face?
I like her, Batman. She's like the pepper to your salt.
Do you know how many birds had to lose their plumage so you could look atrocious? Do you?!?
AAzura
Six?
Actually, it was a rhetorical question, but this one isn't. Would you like to know what it's really like to be a bird who can't fly?
Ugh! What's that smell?
It's Parijat bark.
How is that even on the menu?
I own this restaurant. Now let's get to your training.
Really? Now? Couldn't we wait until after the cheese course?
You need to train your mind to let your instincts tell you when something is wrong.
When do you turn it off?
I don't. I can't.
Exploding goo? Hmm. I think someone's got a bigger gadget budget than me.
Batman. Welcome to our summer lair.
Yes, we've been meaning to invite you over for tea and a good old-fashioned pummeling. Sadly, we're all out of tea.
Oh, drat, the police. Gotham's killjoys. I believe we should make a hasty retreat.
Oh, phooey and fiddlesticks.
Language, Mr. Toad.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beware the Batman pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.